Sex, Lies and the Autobot Leader
by PhantomTF
Summary: After a breakup with Alita One, Optimus Prime suddenly finds himself a free agent
1. Chapter One

**Sex, Lies, and the Autobot Leader**

**(or The Crush)**

Author's note: BEWARE: this fic contains a lot of innuendo, though explicit description has been avoided. This story takes place after Rebirth, where the Decepticons are more or less defeated and a new Golden Age is brought about on Cybertron. Optimus Prime is once again in command, and things are as close to idyllic as possible for the war-torn race. Each story I write is set in a completely different universe and has no bearing on any story that I have written before. Crystal is my character, but unlike in "Darkest Hour" she is not pregnant or involved with Thundercracker. Each of my stories are based on a "What if" question, and since each question is hypothetical, each of my stories is different and unrelated from the one before or the ones to come. Thus, you can read this one and understand what is happening without reading any other fics. And if you have read the others, they have no bearing on the events in this one. A quick note: Phoenix (Nixie) is Fiona Walker's character. I am using her with permission. I've also chosen to resurrect Ratchet for my own purposes. If Optimus could be resurrected, perhaps the funeral barge containing the others could be salvaged and the other deceased Autobots restored.

Chapter One

"What is love anyway?

Does anybody love anybody anyway?"

"What Is Love?" - Howard Jones

The room was dark and very quiet. Anyone would assume that it was empty - it would certainly be fitting, for that was exactly how the mech inside felt. Empty, hollow, drained. The forlorn figure sat on the edge of his recharging berth, head in his hands. The only light in the room shone in from a crack underneath the door - all other sources had been ruthlessly extinguished.

The large mech sighed wearily and flopped onto his back, staring morosely at the ceiling. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so rotten. He was no stranger to agony, to stress, to heartbreak, but this was more than he was used to bearing. It took all of his strength just to drag himself through the day. He resented the sympathetic glances from passersby - his private problems were none of their business! He wished he could just crawl under his recharge berth and hide there, alone and safe, wrapped in the darkness.

'How could this happen?' he asked himself, the same question that had nagged at him all week. 'How could I let this happen?' It was the mark of a good leader to accept responsibility when something went wrong, but this time it was personal - it affected his private life, or what little there was of it. Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, guardian of the Matrix, paragon of virtue and compassion, who could hold together through any attack or energy shortage, no matter how severe or drawn-out, now found himself sinking into a vortex of depression and despair. Ironic how one slender pink femme could make so much difference in his life. She had always kept him going when things seemed bleak; the gentle touch of her hand was enough to still his darkest fears, and a light kiss would sweep away the strongest anxiety. Many times the fear of losing her had spurred an earthquake of agony in his heart, but he never thought it would happen this way. Their relationship had always been intense, but it had been tinged with his guilt and constant terror that Alita One would be used against him as a bargaining chip for the Decepticon army. She had convinced him that the risk was worth it.

The war had claimed so many lives, the death toll rising every day. Optimus and Alita both keenly felt the specter of Death hovering over them, and though their time together was brief, snatched in between the demands of their leadership positions, the fleetingness of it all made it that much more sweet and intense. Their relationship was a safety valve for the stress and anxiety created by the war, worsened by the fact that they were both leaders in their own right, holding the lives of their soldiers in their hands. They were dependent on each other for comfort as well as love, but Optimus had long suspected that he was much more needy of his ladylove than she was of him. In fact, he knew that her loyalty to him caused her suffering and anguish. He couldn't afford to give her what she deserved - a lover who would be by her side any time she needed him, who had the time to lavish attention upon her, take her out dancing or dining, and provide the things a femme deserved. He had always marveled at his good fortune, for she had remained by his side through thick and thin. How ironic that she should be lost to him now, through the most mundane of circumstances.

Indeed, that is what stung the most. Long ago, when the civil war was just beginning and the two had assumed their roles as leaders of the Autobots, they had made a pact with each other. Life was too fleeting, even for a robot, and if one of them should fall fighting for the Autobot cause, it was the other's duty to carry on, to sustain the flame of hope for peace that burned within the heart of every Autobot fighter, and, on a more personal note, to seek another lifemate. Although both of them had thought the other to be dead once the Ark was lost, they had never been able to bring themselves to act on the promise, to forget what they had had together and start anew with another lover. Despite some myriad affairs, they had remained true to each other in their hearts. All those years that he had thought his lover to be dead, Optimus had felt a private pain, the sense that he had lost something precious. That pain was dulled and distant, so perhaps a part of him knew that Alita still lived and there was a small possibility of their reunion. Still, it would have been easier for him to accept her death than the way he had lost her now. He had steeled himself against the day that he would receive the fateful radio message, that Alita had been killed in the line of duty, but at least he had grudgingly accepted it as a possibility. He had never dreamed that things would work out this way. That he would have everything he ever wanted, and then lose it all. And it would all be his fault.

A ragged sigh escaped Prime's vocal unit as he thought back to the many times that he and Alita had clung to each other at what qualified as night on Cybertron, seeking mutual comfort when things seemed bleakest. It was then that they would murmur to each other about how things would be when the war ended: how they would be able to live in peace without fear of dying the next day, of being able to savor each day as it comes, of being able to just lay back and enjoy each other's company, to enjoy life itself. He snorted, the sound echoing in the tomblike silence of his quarters. And what had become of all those dreams, all those desperate hopes for a better life? The irony cut him to the quick. All that they had fought so hard to gain was finally at their feet. The Autobots had essentially won the war. Deep inside, Optimus knew that Galvatron and Scorponok still survived and would stop at nothing until they had achieved their twisted objectives, but for the moment they were stranded on the far side of the galaxy, low on ammunition and power, essentially harmless. Not only was the threat of the Decepticons nullified, but their home planet of Cybertron was reborn into a second Golden Age. It was as close to paradise as this band of ragtag warriors could ever hope to come, and none of them could ask for any more.

So, after nine million years of war, Optimus had achieved all that he had fought for. Peace for his planet, prosperity for its citizens, leisure for himself and his mate. And yet, somehow, it had all crumbled to dust at his feet. He and Alita, despite their elaborate plans for a life together in a time of peace, never figured in a crucial factor. Their relationship was so strong because it was based on a mutual need for comfort. Not only that, it was filled with such passion and tender love because they both felt in their souls that it could end at any moment. When they were together, they lived for the moment, relishing their stolen moments and dreading the time that they would have to part. Their relationship never became mundane, never became routine. They rarely had to deal with the day-to-day conflicts of a normal, healthy relationship.

Once they had the peace and time together that they craved, their lovingly crafted relationship collapsed like a house of cards. Each discovered that they had spent so much time apart that the images they carried in their head of the other were mostly fantasy. The saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" was all too true in their case - the time apart only caused them to create an idealistic version of their lover that the real thing could never measure up to. It was unfair to expect so much of each other, and soon they both began to resent the expectations that were put upon them. Little habits that had seemed so endearing during the war soon became tedious and annoying. Alita had always admired Prime's efficiency and organizational skills, but it became too much for her to bear when he straightened up her side of their quarters. She had her own system of organization, and how could she find anything if he moved it? In turn, Optimus was irritated by Alita's habit of leaving bottles of polish open and cleansing rags scattered on the floor. He'd had no idea how she managed to survive underground for so long in cramped quarters when she made such a mess!

At first they hadn't been able to spend much time together, due to all the demands placed upon them with the rebirth of their native planet. There was so much to do; so much that demanded their attention. They had managed to grab a few spare minutes together during that time, and their passion for each other seemed to ensure a strong relationship. But alas, it was not to be. The newness of the situation soon wore off, and reality sank in, slowly but surely. The passionate embraces soon cooled to a stiff peck on the cheek, and the loving words murmured at the cusp of recharge deteriorated to formal politeness, with a smattering of fiery arguments. The arguments were the worst part. They had had disagreements before, certainly, but never like this. During the war they would argue about their responsibilities to the army versus their responsibilities as a mate, and other sticky problems, but nowadays they fought about silly, petty things, like who had forgotten to cap the waste extractor. Life together was quickly becoming unbearable. Optimus had hated to even consider it, but the concept was staring him right in the face - he and Alita weren't suited to live together. Lately they couldn't even come to a compromise over what vid program to watch in the evening. They had taken to spending late nights at work just to avoid each other, only to return and confront each other when both were tired and irritable.

One unforgettable night, during an argument that Optimus couldn't even remember what the subject had been, Alita had yelled, "Well, maybe we should just call it quits then!" In a rare fit of temper, Optimus had snapped back, "Well, maybe we should! Clearly this isn't working out between us. I'm sick of dealing with you!" As soon as the words had left his mouth, he had wanted to take them back, stomp on them and tear them into non-existence. But of course it was too late - the words were out, and in a way, it was a relief. Despite their arguments, they had never discussed the core of their problems, the possibility of their incompatibility. The war had changed both of them, perhaps so much so that they were no longer suited for each other. They were both different people now, and instead of seeking comfort when things were at their worst, they tore each other down when life couldn't be better. Once the fateful words had been uttered, it was as if a Pandora's box had been opened, and Alita had moved out in a matter of hours. Unable to watch, Optimus had gone to the local dive and done something that he had only done a handful of times in his comparatively long life - gotten completely smashed on high-grade energon.

A bitter laugh exploded, once again shattering the tomblike quiet of the room. So this was a peaceful life? If so, the Pit could take it! Optimus was miserable. Instead of holding his ladylove in his arms, his quarters were dark and lonely. And where was his beloved now? No doubt in the arms of some other receptive mech, vigorously asserting her newfound single status.

Optimus groaned, flopping backwards onto his recharge berth, lying across it lengthwise. He knew that he'd have to get up tomorrow and face the world again, pretending that nothing was wrong while his world was unraveling at the seams. The more things change...


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

"YO, OP!"

Optimus jumped, instinctively materializing his rifle from subspace as he whirled to face the intruder. After a tense second, his body relaxed, and he returned his weapon to storage. "Hot Rod!" he snapped irritably. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

"Paying you a visit," the 'teenager' grinned cheekily. "Figured you'd need a bit of cheering up. Or a change of setting, at least."

"How did you get in here?" Optimus growled, a bit more crossly than he intended. He'd been on edge lately, true, but that was no reason to snap at Hot Rod, who'd no doubt suffered much more from recent events than he'd had.

Roddy shook his head mockingly. "You're getting careless in your old age. You never changed the access code on the door." He chuckled as Prime struck himself on the forehead. "Don't beat yourself over the head with it. You've had so many other things to worry about lately that I'm not surprised it escaped your attention."

Hot Rod could almost see the frown that creased the Autobot leader's face underneath his mask. "Still, that's no excuse for neglecting security matters," he rumbled, sounding upset.

"Come off it, Op!" Roddy laughed. "I came in here to get your mind off of such matters. You need a night away from all of this." He gestured widely, encompassing the entire room, with its neat stacks of disks and paper. While the piles weren't nearly big enough for Prime at the moment, Hot Rod was determined to distract the Autobot leader by forcing him to have a good time instead of letting him drown himself in work.

"And what if I refuse?" Optimus asked, sounding a bit irritated.

"Then we'll just have to drag you kicking and screaming," said a smug, self-satisfied voice.

Prime groaned as the bouncing green terror known as Springer poked his head into his office. There was no way out of this now. He was doomed to spend the night doing whatever it was his so-called friends wanted.

Low grumbling could be heard from behind Springer's massive frame, which took form as Ultra Magnus was yanked into the room by the arm. "I see they got you too," Optimus said with a touch of humor.

Magnus made a face. "I see no reason to participate in this farce. All I want to do is go back to my quarters and rest."

"Brood, you mean," Springer chided him. "You've been moping around ever since Nixie was sent on that mission. It's time you saw someplace other than the inside of your quarters or your office."

Optimus smiled slightly under his mask, getting into the spirit of things. "Have fun, Magnus! That's an order!" He choked back a snicker at Magnus' shocked look.

"That goes double for you, mister!" Hot Rod said in a deep, mock-authoritative voice. "Now march!"

Optimus shook his head good-naturedly as he shut down his laptop and deactivated various other devices. "All right, I'm coming already," he groaned as he activated the security system. "Let's get this torture over with."


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

'This is torture indeed,' Optimus mused as he cupped his canister of high-grade energon, his third of the night. He was not normally a big drinker, but tonight it seemed to fit his situation. While he had not been exactly chugging down the strong brew, the level of potent liquid in his canister had slowly dropped throughout the night.

He cringed as the pounding techno beat of the audio-splitting music threatened to short-circuit his audial circuitry. Why anyone would find this abomination enjoyable was beyond him. Hot Rod and Springer sought to introduce their two stiff friends to one of their favorite pastimes: clubbing. Optimus sighed, staring at the dregs of his beverage. Around him, bodies cavorted wildly, the dancers surrendering themselves to the pulsating, driving beat. Hot Rod and Springer had hoped to distract him, draw him out of himself, but such revelry had only served to further depress him. At first it had almost been enjoyable for the Autobot leader to step out of his usual routine. A night out on the town seemed to be the perfect solution. He had to confess that he did not know Hot Rod or Springer very well, but their good humor and enthusiasm had been infectious, and in spite of himself, he had found himself chuckling at his young friends' antics. And, of course, goading Magnus into having a good time was far too enjoyable to resist. Too bad it had worked.

The dejected Autobot shook his head wearily as he surveyed his friends. It had been a nice distraction to sit and joke with them, but unsurprisingly, Hot Rod and Springer had gotten swept up in the pulsating rhythm of the music and had wandered off to dance. He and Magnus had both rolled their optic points at their young friends and chatted for awhile about how it was a miracle that those two foolhardy youths were still alive. Then, of all the bizarre things to happen, *Magnus* had started to tap his foot to the beat, and finally, with a sheepish look, had announced his intentions to dance. He tried to get Optimus to follow him, but the Autobot leader had refused to have any part in the awkward gyrations going on around him. Let the others make a fool of themselves.

And yet, Prime felt a sting of jealousy as Magnus threw back his head and laughed out of sheer joy. And, by Primus, he had not one but *two* women bumping and grinding alongside him. Of course the city commander was faithful to Phoenix, his bonded mate, but it couldn't hurt to dance a bit with a beautiful femme or two. Optimus was suddenly flooded with guilt. He had no right feeling jealous over Magnus' high spirits. The old Terran saying was true - misery loves company, and Optimus wanted someone to be miserable with. He knew full well that Magnus had never had much luck with femmes until Phoenix had come along. He should be pleased, not hurt, that his old friend had finally loosened up enough, courtesy of the high-grade energon, to have some fun.

Hot Rod nudged Springer and pointed out the amazing spectacle of Magnus dancing wildly with the ladies, and the two shared a triumphant grin and slapped each other a high-five. Optimus slouched lower in his seat. They had forgotten all about him. Part of him was hurt, while another part was relieved. He didn't want anyone fussing over him. "I'll go after I finish this glass," he promised himself. He could feel sorry for himself just as well in his quarters. Not that they'd notice he'd left, of course.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"

The voice snapped Prime out of his reverie. He jumped in surprise, his beverage sloshing in its container. He opened his mouth to quickly dismiss the intruder, but as he looked up, the words froze on his lips. Before him stood a beautiful femme that could have just stepped out of any guy's fantasy. Her finish was red and blue, and her head was framed by a curving piece of armor that almost resembled a human hairstyle. His gaze locked with hers, and he cleared his voice box nervously, realizing that she was still waiting for a reply, smiling patiently. "Uhh... no, of course not. Have a seat." It wasn't as if the other party animals would be back soon.

"Oh, good," the beautiful femme breathed, promptly settling herself across from him. "My name's Crystal."

Prime's optics narrowed at the recognition of the name. He had never been formally introduced until this moment, but this femme's reputation preceded her. He had heard many rumors about her behavior - most of them derogatory comments about her tendency to play the field. Optimus had never understood the reasoning - he'd have thought that the males would have appreciated such an adventurous spirit. He strongly resolved not to let such harsh gossip influence his own judgment.

"I'm Optimus Prime," he replied, holding out his hand, palm straight up. Crystal mimicked the gesture, the palms of both of their hands meeting in the traditional greeting.

"Oh, I know who you are!" the femme laughed merrily. "Everybody knows the illustrious Autobot leader. I've always wanted to meet you," she said playfully.

"Really?" Prime asked in mild surprise.

"Oh yes," she smiled. "Who wouldn't want to meet the kindest, wisest, most powerful, and of course, cutest Autobot?"

"Oh my," Optimus whispered, unsure how to react. "Do you - do you really think that?" He cursed himself inwardly. What kind of a stupid question was that? Must be the liquor talking.

Encouraged, Crystal leaned forward. "Oh, all the girls think that. Alita was lucky to snap you up right away. But she was foolish to let a catch like you go. If you were my guy, I'd never let you go. I know a good thing when I see it."

Prime was fervently grateful for the faceplate that concealed his visage as his jaw dropped with an audible thunk. His alcohol-fogged CPU struggled to process this mind-boggling input. No femme except Alita had ever spoken so boldly to him! If the ladies found him attractive, he had never noticed. But then again, as his ladylove had been so fond of saying, he wouldn't know a pass if it came over and kissed him.

"I hope you don't mind my straightforwardness," the lovely femme continued. "You just looked so sad that I had to come over. Don't let Alita get you down. There are plenty of femmes that would love to go out with you."

"Like you?" The words were out before Optimus could stop them, and oddly, a part of him didn't even want to. He was sick of censoring his desires.

The wide smile that answered his question sent shivers down his exostructure. By the Matrix, could this really be happening? Was he really flirting with a desirable femme, with no shadow of fidelity to Alita to hold him back?

Crystal leaned back in her seat, enjoying her new beau's admiration. "Let's dance," she purred. Optimus stood up slowly. Surges raced across his synapses as she grasped his hand. Almost in a trance, Optimus allowed her to tug him on to the dance floor. She elbowed dancers out of her way to create a small dance space of their own. She noticed Prime's nervous posture and smiled encouragingly as she began to move before him.

Self-consciously, Optimus began to move to the beat of the music. At first his motions were hesitant and jerky, but soon he forgot about all the pairs of optics around him and concentrated on the gorgeous sight before him. He almost never danced in public for fear of making a fool of himself, but the heady combination of high-grade energon and the femme's forwardness turned his head enough to dispel all his inhibitions. His slight scorn for the dancers changed to passion as the driving beat swept him away to a place that knew no cares. Crystal grinned widely, pleasantly surprised at her partner's dancing flair and sudden abandon. She stepped closer, noting the warm glow that came from Prime's optics. Never had he seemed more handsome to her.

Optimus allowed a small smile to flit over his covered face, surprised at how much he was enjoying letting go, becoming a part of the music. He groaned softly as the tension drained out of him, leaving him feeling loose and relaxed. What had he been stressing about? Nothing mattered in that moment but him, his partner, and the music.

"By Primus' afterburners!" Hot Rod yelped in astonishment, mouth agape. His processor struggled to make sense of what it was receiving. "Springer, look!"

Springer, who was busy flirting with a pretty femme, waved away the racecar like an annoying insect. "Go away," he growled. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

"No way, you've got to see this!" Hot Rod cried insistently, tugging on his friend's arm.

"All right, then will you- By the Matrix!" he gasped, all thoughts of fembots flying from his CPU at the mind-boggling sight. "Is that for real? That *can't* be Optimus out there!"

"I don't know who else it could be," Hot Rod said numbly.

Springer quickly recovered his wits. "Well, he certainly seems to be enjoying himself," he snickered.

Oblivious to the shocked stares and growing whispers around them, the pair moved hypnotically together to the driving beat. Crystal grinned to herself- at long last, the Autobot leader was within her grasp. Now that he was hers for the taking, she wanted him all to herself. "Let's blow this place," she murmured in his audio.

As if in a trance, Optimus nodded, optics looking past the throng of astonished onlookers to find the exit. Crystal spotted it first and eagerly hauled her catch after her. Optimus practically had to run to keep up with her, but he was not about to complain. He wanted to get out of there as desperately as she did. "Phew," she breathed as they rushed out the door, into the inky blackness of eternal night that passed for Cybertron's sky. "I thought we'd never get out of there."

She turned to him, and Optimus was struck by her beauty. Her lips were parted, the lights from the club streaking her metallic form with ribbons of light and shadow. 'I think I really like this femme!' a small but insistent voice spoke within. There was an awkward pause, then Crystal stood on tiptoe and planted a passionate kiss on his faceplate, in the approximate area of his lips.

"So, what do you want to do next?" Optimus asked curiously. This was shaping up to be a fascinating night.

Crystal merely smiled and tugged on his arm. He allowed himself to be led to whatever the night held.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Crystal awoke from pleasant dreams to find herself snuggled against the large, warm form of the mech that she loved. She sighed happily, wriggling closer. The object of her affections murmured something and shifted slightly. Unable to resist, Crystal traced the planes of his face with a fingertip. Primus, he looked so young and defenseless without his mask! Her finger playfully traced his lips, enjoying the warm metallic texture that had brought her so much pleasure the night before. As if in response to her actions, Optimus stirred slightly.

She smiled craftily and covered his lips with hers, applying pressure until the mech's optics flickered to life. "Good morning," she purred holding her new treasure close.

"This *is* shaping up to be a good morning," Optimus said teasingly, grinning at the femme.

Crystal flickered an optic sensor at him, the equivalent of a wink. "Stick with me and every day will be a good day," she said playfully.

Prime's chuckle was cut short by a gasp as he consulted his internal chronometer. "By the Matrix, I'm late!" he exclaimed.

"Oh, so am I!" Crystal said, somehow not sounding remorseful at all. The two bots ran around in a blur of motion. Optimus paused to give his new ladylove a brief kiss before attaching his faceplate.

The two darted out the door, forgetting all about discretion in their haste to get to their posts on time. Suddenly, something made Optimus stop in his tracks and turn, bumping into another figure. The angry pink femme glared at him. She opened her mouth to tell him off.

Optimus said cheerfully, "See you later, babe!"

Alita's mouth worked angrily. Babe? Optimus had never used that word before around her. How dare he call her that! The angry words died in her throat, however, as she realized he was looking down the hall at someone else. He didn't even notice her!

"Not if I see you first!" a trilling voice answered, sounding giddy with happiness.

Optimus waved and walked on, realizing that his slight tardiness was dipping into the zone of severe lateness. Though he could afford to relax his schedule a bit more, the Autobot army did not run itself. He quickened his pace, his mind running through his 'things to do' list of the day, though it occasionally flashed back to last night's pleasure.

Alita was left gaping in the middle of the hallway. Her processor struggled to make sense of the scene that had just played itself out before her. It was worse than being snubbed - it was like she didn't exist for him anymore! She had relished his mournful expression, the way he bravely tried to drag himself through another day without her while she worked her way through the Autobot army, dating a different mech every night. She figured that some femme would snatch him up sooner or later - after all, he had been elected "Most Eligible Mech" in their secret election - but this was intolerable! Her former life mate was dating her worst enemy! Of all the femmes for him to take up with!

A small, strangled noise of rage finally escaped her vocal unit as her hands clenched into fists. Leave it to Crystal to twist and pervert even the most righteous of males! With her, Optimus had been gallant and almost too respectful at first, and even when he had finally loosened up, he kept their relationship behind closed doors. They rarely even held hands in public, wanting the troops to accept them as co-commanders and not as a romantic item. Still, word leaked out, as it does in such tight circles, and their relationship had been an open secret, never acknowledged but widely known and accepted. Optimus and Alita became off-limits for anyone seeking a long-term relationship.

Alita didn't even mind the fact that he was having a spontaneous fling. Sure, it surprised her, since her former lover wasn't known for spontaneous action, but it had happened more than once in the past. He had always returned to her, more faithful than ever. Each pardoned the other's indiscretions and chalked it up to loneliness or the need for a change of pace. But - ugh! This time Alita had to question the Autobot leader's sanity. Her face twisted into a grimace, causing a few passerby to shrink away, lest she vent her anger upon them. Crystal was very popular among the males, running through the ranks faster than she used up a bottle of polish. Only Crystal could brag of such an immense track record. She had gone out with three-fourths of the Autobot ranks, and the other fourth was either too young, gay, physically unable, or had too-high standards to accommodate her. And then there was the Decepticon army... Alita's CPU quickly killed that train of thought. Best not to get into that. She couldn't blame Crystal for doing her job.

Finding her mobility again, Alita whirled on her heel and stomped loudly back to her temporary quarters. The hall's occupants quickly pressed themselves up against the walls in order to avoid her wrath. Alita rarely got angry, but when she did, she was meaner than a cyber-pit-bull. The fuming femme muttered as she stomped, plans of revenge rapidly forming and dissolving in her mind. One thing was sure - she'd get that femme if it was the last thing she did!


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Heads turned to follow Crystal as she traipsed happily down the hall, humming loudly. That in itself was enough to feed the gossip mill, which was already churning out wild rumors about the events of the previous night. Every optic seemed glued to the femme, who, oddly enough, was oblivious of the unusual attention paid to her. Only one mech's gaze mattered to her now.

"Hi, guys!" she chirped as she bounced into the femmes' private rec room. Heads swiveled at the unusual chipper note in the femme's voice. Truth be told, Crystal usually skulked around, going about her business and generally keeping to herself. She was the fly in the ointment, the friction point within the normally tight unit of the femme fatales. Some of the femmes were disgusted with Crystal, others tolerated her for the sake of the group, and a select few were friends with her. Even her friends, however, were sometimes perplexed by her behavior.

"Hello, Crystal," Chromia said, sounding a bit guarded. "You sound awfully happy today. Did you have a nice time last night?"

"You could say that," the femme purred, half of her wanting to savor her secret, the other half wanting to scream it out from the highest rooftop.

"Don't keep us in suspense," Moonracer chided, pulling out a chair for her friend. Moonracer and Crystal often got into mischief together, causing the elder femmes to shake their heads wearily.

Crystal allowed a sly smile to cross her face. "Well, I met someone last night. A guy..." This announcement was greeted with a chorus of groans. "Hey, come on! This time was different."

"How so?" Sunrunner sneered. "They all seem to end alike."

Crystal was in too good of a mood to let such biting sarcasm to get her down. "This mech actually means something to me."

"Ooohoohooh! Did it really happen with Optimus?" Moonracer squealed, bouncing in her seat. "We all know how he's suddenly become available."

"Actually, yes," Crystal said, trying to sound casual, but a tremor of excitement betrayed her.

"OhMYGOOOOOOOOOD!" Moonracer screamed and hugged her friend. Crystal finally allowed her excitement to show, and the two jumped up and down, yelling excitedly.

Sunrunner scowled and opened her mouth, but Chromia shook her head. "Let them have their fun," she said quietly. "Don't spoil this for Crystal."

When the two calmed down enough to be coherent, Chromia gestured for them to sit down. "So tell us about it," she said, trying not to let on how shocked she was. She had been friends with Optimus for an awfully long time. How this had happened was beyond her understanding, but she could see how pleased Crystal was about it and vowed not to spoil the poor femme's happiness.

Crystal sat down with a blissful smile, eager to tell her tale. She began, "Well, I went to Club Cyber like I usually do..." Despite themselves, all of the femmes found themselves leaning in to soak up every detail. Arcee and Phoenix (who had just returned that morning) looked up from their holomagazines and pulled their chairs over to the ever-growing throng.

"And we chatted for awhile at the table, and..."

"Come on, get to the good part!" Phoenix said impatiently. "Did you go out with the guy or not?"

"Did I ever!" Crystal beamed. "And it was even more fun than I imagined it would be." Her eyes glazed over at the memory, a smile tingeing her faceplate.

She was immediately bombarded with questions, such as "Did you dance together?" "What did you do?" "Will you see him again?"

Crystal waved them all away with a laugh. "Give me a chance, and I'll tell you all about it.

Chromia was torn between turning away and drinking in the details. Much as this voyeuristic peek into the Autobot leader's private life sickened her, she had to admit, a part of her was quite curious as to what the upright commander got up to in his spare time.

"Well, I think it's disgusting," Sunrunner growled, but her voice of dissention was lot amidst the excited din of gossiping females.

Crystal was in the midst of a lengthy description of the previous night's fun, when an unnatural hush fell over the group. Oblivious to the expectant horror written on the faces of her comrades, Crystal chattered on, caught up in the moment.

"Well, isn't this a cozy scene," a feminine voice said, in a tone cold enough to solidify antifreeze. That finally got through to the love-struck femme.

Whirling, Crystal's gaze locked with the flinty-eyed expression of the Femme commander. "Slag, just what I needed to spoil my good mood," she muttered at a sub-audial tone, which was received by its target nonetheless.

"What was that, soldier?" Alita asked, her voice taking on a dangerous edge.

"Absolutely noting that you should concern yourself with, Miz Femme Commander," Crystal replied with more than a touch of sarcasm.

"Ladies, please, let's at least pretend to be civilized," Chromia said nervously, not wanting the situation to deteriorate any further. Normally the two femmes rubbed each other the wrong way, somehow managing to irritate each other just by being in the same room, so the deliberate provocation was bound to open a whole can of worms.

Alita clapped her hands together, businesslike. "Okay, ladies, time for your assignments. Chromia, you'll supervise the continuing integration of our faction with the general army. Moonracer, you'll work on upgrading our old weaponry to current standards. And Crystal," her voice took on a smug note, "your assignment is to clean out the femme waste extraction facilities."

The femme commander relished the shocked look of disgust that came over her adversary's features. "Ugh! No way! I did that last week! It's Sunrunner's turn!"

"Afraid not," Alita replied coldly. "I need her to monitor radio signals coming from the Decepticons' last known position, just to make sure they're not yet at full strength."

"But I'M the intelligence specialist!" Crystal argued. "That should be my job!"

"But Sunrunner needs to learn more skills," Alita said calmly, allowing a small, triumphant smile to tinge her faceplate.

'Slag you!' Crystal thought viciously, just barely biting the words back from her vocal unit. That would only make things worse. "As you command, Alita," the femme said mockingly, saluting sloppily and turning on her heel to go.

"A word, please," Chromia said firmly, taking her commander's arm and steering her into the tiny sleeping nook reserved for any femme that needed a place to crash. Chromia wasn't about to directly challenge her leader in front of the troops, but once they were alone, she let fly. "Alita, what is wrong with you? This has nothing to do with duty; this is sheer vindictiveness! I have to confess that Crystal isn't one of my favorite people, but she doesn't deserve this! And you can't use her position to get back at her. Do you really despise her that much?"

"Yes!" the femme commander spat. "I am sick of that girl tearing her way through the male faction of this army! She's nothing but lowlife scum, and I am going to see that she realizes just how low she really is!"

Chromia arched an optic ridge. "Seems that you're not as over Optimus as you'd like to think."

Alita fixed her friend with a piercing gaze. "Leave him out of this! It's over, and that's it."

Chromia shook her head ruefully. "It seems that your head has accepted that, but your heart hasn't. You wouldn't be so cruel to Crystal if you had."

Alita glared at the mention of that name. "Oh, believe me, that's just the icing on the cake! That femme has had this coming for millions of years! Now that we're not so dependent on her, we don't have to tolerate this kind of behavior. I'm sure that she still has some marginal value, so if we can manage to discipline her, perhaps we can get some use out of her yet."

"Listen to yourself!" Chromia cried. "Alita, this is wrong! You're letting jealousy blind you! Nobody, not even Crystal, deserves this kind of treatment."

"My mind is made up," the pink femme said coldly. "My decision stands. Good day, Chromia." With that she exited, leaving the elder femme shaking her head sadly. What had become of her best friend?


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

"Slag it all," Crystal grumbled under her vocal modulator as she lugged out the proper cleansing supplies. She couldn't believe how a day that had started out so wonderfully could go rotten so fast. And to top it all off, she had just had cleaning duty last week! Of course, she didn't buy Alita's flimsy excuses for a moment. She saw right through her commander's efforts to jerk her around. There had never been any real liking between the two femmes, but Crystal had done her best to keep to herself. Now her relationship with the Autobot leader had raised Alita's ire, but that didn't mean that Crystal had to stand around and take it. She'd play along for now, since Alita was just mad enough to slap her with insubordination if she disobeyed, but she'd find a way to get out of her sphere of influence very soon. Then, very soon indeed, she could get going with a little revenge plan of her own. Still, many said that living well was its own revenge, and she herself had Optimus, didn't she? She'd see to it that that pink nightmare never got her boy-toy back!

Crystal jerked the cleansing unit back and forth, venting her frustration. The silicon tendrils of the unit spun around in circles, capturing whatever dirt and particulate lay on the floor. This was the easiest, part, though. Crystal was *not* looking forward to cleaning the individual waste extraction units. That was where the job got messy.

Crystal studied the mop-like device in her hands as the motor spun the cleaning tendrils around. Its handle hummed busily, and the femme allowed her mind to wander back to the morning's pleasant activities. "I wonder if Optimus is free tonight," she mused.

Her thoughts were jolted back to reality as the mop jerked in her hand, threatening to spin right out of her hand and splash cleansing fluid everywhere. Crystal hastily grasped it in both hands, getting the mechanism under control. She glanced down at the blue cylindrical handle in her hands, noticing a few dials and switches on the side. "Wait a second," she murmured. "This is an automatic mop!" She cackled aloud. This wouldn't be so bad after all! She hummed to herself as she programmed the mop, then leaned back against the wall, her mind wandering back to the previous night. Alita could assign her to the waste extraction unit for the entire week, for all she cared. She still had Optimus, didn't she?


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

The group of assembled Autobots gaped as their leader entered the room. They were the head honchos, the braintrust, the command force behind the Autobot army. They were quite adept at dealing with the unexpected, but they had come to anticipate such events as coming from the Decepticons, not their own leader. Such odd behavior had come with the territory with Rodimus Prime, but Optimus Prime had been a stickler for punctuality and going by the book. Thus, the assembled group of Autobots was struck dumb when their commander waltzed through the door. Not only was he twenty terran minutes late, he was whistling. "Hello, all," he fairly sang as he gave the group a jaunty wave, assuming his customary seat at the front of the table. "Sorry for being late," he said off-handedly. "So, what have we got on the table for discussion?"

Alita glared daggers at him from the other end of the table. It was her custom to sit next to him at briefings, as was her right as co-leader, but she had hoped to rattle his cage and put physical distance between them by sitting as far away as she could. But so far, he hadn't even spared her a passing glance! How could she slight him if he didn't even pay her any notice?

"Erm," said Kup nervously, trying to focus on his prepared list. "I've found a few holes in our security that have to be patched ASAP. Just because the 'Cons are out of the picture, doesn't mean that we can afford to get sloppy. Remember that we have plenty of other enemies. The Quintessons, for one."

Optimus nodded, but he seemed rather distant. "Good idea, Kup. Anyone else?"

Perceptor cleared his vocal unit and launched into a lengthy discussion of his latest effort to further refine energon, in order to achieve a higher purity. This time, everyone visually tuned out. Springer hunched over his laptop, concentrating on it intently. Anyone would have thought that he was hard at work on a serious project.

Magnus heard the nearly imperceptible beep that came from his own laptop and opened it up, also pretending that he had an important project to attend to. _What's up with Optimus?_ scrolled across his screen. He replied to Springer, _Not sure, but I'd bet my commission that it has something to do with that femme he met last night._

Springer bit his lip, trying to hide the grin that threatened to split his face. _Most likely. I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. But you've known him longer; what do you think?_

Magnus shook his head. _I've never seen him like this at all, that's for sure. Not even in all the time he'd been dating Alita. Whoever this Crystal is, she's knocked him for a loop._

Springer smirked. _She really seems to have gotten her hooks in him! I bet they've already got another date lined up._

_Springer!_ Magnus chided. _That's none of our business._

_So? The whole base is talking about it already._

_Let them talk. It's still none of their business._ Magnus shook his head in disapproval.

Perceptor's endless monologue finally drew to a close. He ended his briefing with a flourish of his hand, expecting a smattering of applause, or at least an acknowledging nod from his commanding officer. What he got was something less than satisfying. His leader sat there, staring off into space, a soft glow tingeing his optics. "Erm, Optimus? Is everything all right?" he inquired softly. "Did I lose you at any point?"

Optimus jumped, startled out of his reverie. "Oh, not really, Perceptor. Thank you for that, erm, illuminating report. Who's next? Kup?"

"I've already gone, sir," the Autobot warrior said gently.

Optimus looked slightly embarrassed. "Oh, yes, of course. Ratchet, would you do the honors?"

Alita gave a disgusted snort and rose in her seat. This whole meeting was a farce and a waste of her valuable time. She wanted to check on how her plans of revenge were going, anyway. Crystal's misery would be so much sweeter if she were there to witness it.

"Going somewhere?" a voice asked dryly.

"As a matter of fact, I am," she replied coolly.

Optimus' gaze became stern, suddenly all business. "I don't recall dismissing you. Even when we were life-mates, I never would have accepted such behavior. You will sit down and wait until the end of the briefing, along with everyone else. We aren't wasting your precious time, now are we?" he sneered.

"Not if you'd pay attention," she snapped. "You haven't heard one word that was said here today. You're too busy thinking of the next time you're going to see that blasted Crystal. It's disgusting."

"I'll thank you to keep my private life out of this, thank you very much," Optimus said in a glacial tone. "And I will not have you refer to Crystal in such vulgar terms. She is my companion for the moment, and whether you like it or not does not matter one iota to me. Is that clear?" He surveyed the room's occupants, a glint of anger in his optics. Everyone looked at the table, unable to meet their leader's gaze. "I'll take that as a yes," he said, tone softening a bit. "I figure that's enough for today. You all are dismissed. You may depart now for your pressing engagement, Alita," he said coldly.

Alita turned and flounced out of the room. Optimus pointedly turned his head and ignored her departure. "What a jerk," he growled in a sub-audial tone, but not quietly enough, for those assembled still heard his derogatory comment and winced. They looked at each other in helpless confusion. What had happened? Alita and Optimus had seemed like the ideal couple, sticking together through thick and thin, holding fast to their love through the endless separations, always reuniting happily. They had epitomized a happy relationship, giving the rest of their troops hope that someday they, too, would find their ideal partner to spend their lives with. They took the breakup hard, since it meant the death of a dream. Optimus' relationship with Crystal had raised bitter controversy amongst the warriors: some argued that he was only using her for companionship, while others argued that Optimus was better than that. Some just figured that it was none of their business, while most others grumbled that it wasn't right, and that Crystal, fickle as she was, would soon move on to the next victim. They hoped that Optimus would wake up and see her true nature and dump her flat on her afterburner.

Everyone got up and quietly filed out, heads bowed in confusion. They had no idea what had happened between Optimus and Alita, but apparently it was quite serious. And if the happiest couple couldn't get along in peacetime, what hope was left for them?

Springer and Magnus lingered by mute consent. "Optimus, could we have a word with you?" Magnus said gently, taking his old friend's arm and easing him back down in his seat.

Optimus looked at the city commander, seeming a bit irritated, but he relented and sat back. "Okay, tell me what's troubling you."

Springer looked uneasy. "Well, to tell you the truth, it's you. Please don't take this the wrong way, but you've been acting strange today."

Optimus' face darkened, giving the impression of a scowl hidden under his mask. "I really don't think my behavior is anyone's business but my own."

Magnus took over, trying to make his old friend see their point. "Optimus, I totally agree that your private life should be your own to lead, but whatever is happening is beginning to spill over into the public sphere. Today you could barely concentrate, and the tension between you and Alita was palpable. You don't have to give me the details, but I can tell that your breakup was messier than you let on."

Optimus nodded slowly. "That it was. But as long as I was dragging myself around, Alita was quite content to avoid me. Of course, the minute I find someone else to spend my time with, she has to start causing trouble."

"Erm, that's something else we wanted to talk to you about," Springer said uneasily, somehow feeling that he was getting way over his head. He pressed on anyway, since such a feeling had never stopped him before. "Magnus and I know about Crystal's checkered history. We, erm, even have a bit of first-hand information. Me much more so, of course."

Optimus narrowed his optics at this information. He would have never pictured Magnus with such a femme, but then again Crystal probably had a few wily tricks. "Your point?" he said, unable to keep an impatient note out of his voice. He couldn't see how this applied to him.

"Well," Springer continued, getting more nervous by the minute, "we just thought you should know that she has an impressive track record. She's not the type to settle down and become serious with one mech. She prefers to play the field."

"Perhaps that's just what I need right now," Optimus declared. "I've just come out of a very serious relationship, and maybe I need to just enjoy a relationship with no strings attached."

"But people are starting to whisper. After all, Crystal isn't really your type." Magnus began to look rather nervous himself.

Optimus waved his hand dismissively. "Let them. My private life, and Crystal's, is absolutely none of their business. And as for her reputation, I'm sure it didn't bother them when it was their turn with her. I'm sick of all the two-faced gossiping and back-stabbing that has been going on here. Please, both of you, I understand that you are worried and are just looking out for my best interests, but leave me be. I am old enough to make decisions for myself, and I am quite content to be with Crystal for the moment. And if she moves on, so be it. Now, if that's all you have to say, I need to get to my office."

The two robots nodded mutely, less than satisfied with the results of their little talk. They rose and saluted Optimus as he stood and walked out. "Well, that was pointless," Springer muttered.

"Agreed," Magnus sighed. "But he does have a point. Now that things have eased up around here, he's entitled to a bit of fun. Not that I think that having a blatant affair is the answer, of course, but Optimus is a grown mech and we can't stop him. All we can do is hope that it ends quickly."

Springer shook his head. "Believe me, I think that a fling is just what Optimus needs. I just wish that he'd be a bit more discreet about it. He was never this open about his private relationship with Alita. The gossip mill is churning out rumors like crazy, and I'm worried that Optimus will get hurt by it. And Crystal's reputation isn't helping matters."

Magnus snorted at the memory of the conniving femme. "I'm not thrilled by his choice of mates either, but it's his decision. And maybe you are right, and she'll turn out to be good for him. I just hope that he loses interest quickly and moves on. For now, all we can do is watch, wait, and pray that this doesn't blow up in his face."


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Optimus Prime sat his desk, flipping through piles of documents, sorting them in order of importance, as he had always done for the nine million years that he had been leader (besides the four that he had been dormant). Somehow, this time the prospect of work seemed even less appealing than before. He couldn't say that paperwork was his favorite part of the job, but it had to be done, and usually it distracted him from thinking about matters that were painful to him. Lately his workload had dwindled to almost nothing, but today the small pile seemed like an enormous mountain. He wasn't in the mood for dreary paperwork. Come to think of it, he wasn't in the mood to work at all. Still, there was no sense in putting it off, since there wasn't a whole lot, and the pile would only grow if he didn't weed it out now. Sighing, he opened yet another folder and thumbed through its contents.

A small smile crossed his covered face as his mind wandered back to the very pleasant events of the night before. Now that was a way for a mech to spend his time... who needed paperwork when he had a lovely femme like that? The folder slipped from his hand unnoticed, papers spilling over the floor as his CPU fondly recalled last night's meeting.

He shook his head, studying the paperwork that had spilled onto the floor. 'I really should get this paperwork done,' he told himself, but it sounded lame, even to his own audials. With a resigned sigh, he bent down to straighten up the papers that had

fallen. 'I wonder if Crystal is free tonight,' he mused. 'Well, why wonder any longer?' he asked himself. 'Why not ask her yourself?'

"Optimus Prime to Crystal," he said before he even realized what he was doing.

"Crystal here," a warm voice replied. "What can I do for you, sir?"

"I need to see you right away. Please report to my office ASAP."

A throaty chuckle floated out from the receiver. "As you command, sir. On my way."

"Optimus out," the commander said, unable to keep a note of excitement from entering his voice. He sat back, absentmindedly tapping the pile of papers against his palm.

It seemed like an eternity until the buzzer at his office door sounded. "Um... who is it?" he said a bit nervously, suddenly fearful that Kup or Ironhide had decided to drop by and discuss the defense upgrades after all.

"Operative Crystal, reporting for duty," a feminine voice replied, dispelling his fears.

Optimus pressed a button underneath his desk that unlocked the door. "Please come in," he invited her.

Crystal stepped into the office, optics roving around, trying to take everything in at once. Once she had cleared the doors, Optimus pressed another button, and the doors slid shut and automatically locked, assuring their privacy. "So, what do you think?" he said off-handedly.

"It's very official-looking," Crystal said, a bit overwhelmed at finally being in such an important place, alone with the mighty Autobot commander.

Optimus smiled slightly behind his mask. "I didn't invite you here to discuss business."

A slow smile crept across the femme's face. "Oh, good. I hope you're free tonight, because I have a few plans."

"Oh, really?" Optimus inquired, seeming intrigued. "Like what?"

"I thought we could go catch a movie. And after that, we could go explore some of Cybertron's underground passages. Megatron always enjoyed going there, though he always said…" her voice trailed off as Optimus stared at her speechlessly.

"What did you just say?" he said slowly, not believing what he had just heard. "Have you been seeing *Megatron*, of all people? Crystal, how could you? Don't you know that our security is at risk? He could have hurt you, or worse! Primus, you're as bad as everyone says! Is there a mech out there that you *haven't* dated? Just which side are you on, anyway?"

Crystal's face crumpled, and for a moment she looked like she was going to cry. "I didn't expect you to understand," she choked. "After all, you're a mech, you've never had it as hard as we femmes did. We had to scrounge in the Empty Lands for scraps of energon, perform countless raids against Shockwave's fortress, each riskier than the last. We did what we had to do to survive. None of us liked it, but we each knew that it was the price we paid to stay alive. As abominable as things got, life was still too precious to let go." Her lip curled as she fixed the Autobot with a disgusted look. "But you and your cowboys blasted off the planet without a backward glance, leaving us behind to fend for ourselves. We thought you were all dead, and many of the femmes had trouble keeping their spirits alive at the thought of living without their mates. Still, we survived, and the concept became a mantra to us."

Crystal's fists bunched into fists, and her whole frame shook with repressed anger and bitterness. "You stand here and accuse me of consorting with the enemy, when it was my job! Or didn't you know that my unofficial function is 'companion for the Decepticons?'" She smiled bitterly at the shocked look on Optimus Prime's exposed face. "Yeah, you heard right. It's actually my job. Alita *orders* me to go out with the Decepticons! You wouldn't think that someone like me would mind," she spat, "but

some of them, like Bombshell, have some really disgusting ideas. I can't tell you how many times I just wanted to wash myself off with acid after an encounter with them. I suppose I can't really blame you - you're just a man, you can't be expected to understand. But the other femmes know exactly how degrading this kind of work is, but instead of giving me the smallest measure of respect, they look at me as if I crawled out of a waste extractor. Just once, I wish I could be accepted for what I am, shady past and all!"

Prime gazed at her, speechless with horror. He'd had absolutely no idea about any of this. He'd known that the femmes had had to do some less than desirable things to survive, but this exceeded his worst imaginings. All this time he'd believed that the Autobot army had a worthy cause, and that every soldier was prepared to make sacrifices to achieve those goals. But where should he draw the line? When did the sacrifice become too much to make? Here was Crystal, a prime example of a victim in a war without conscience or morals. By Primus, did he make such demands on every soldier under his command? And how could Alita, in all conscience, allow one of her troops to go to such deplorable lengths to gain an advantage over the Decepticons? He shook his head, physically and mentally sickened by the whole idea. They were all Autobots. They were supposed to be better than that. And what had he, Optimus Prime, noble and mighty leader of the Autobots, done? He'd overreacted to a statement she had made, and in the heat of the moment had called her all the vile names that had been whispered behind her back for so long. He'd allowed jealousy and the worries that she was a spy override his better judgment. All she had wanted to do was to give him pleasure, and he had insulted her. He hung his head in shame. Could he tell himself, in good conscience, that he was above that kind of behavior?

"Crystal," he choked, lifting his head to fix her with a guilt-ridden gaze. "I'm so sorry. I had absolutely no idea. Can I ever make it up to you?" He folded the trembling femme into his arms.

"It's a start," Crystal said, her voice muffled, burying her head against his massive chest. "Oh, Optimus, it should be me begging you for forgiveness. I thought you knew about my real job specifications, and I overreacted at your accusations. I hope you can forgive me."

Optimus was unspeakably saddened by those words. Was her self-worth so low that she'd beg him for forgiveness after he insulted her? "B-but I said such terrible things-" He broke off, unable to continue.

"Oh, don't worry about that. Everybody does," Crystal said matter-of-factly, though an edge of bitterness betrayed her. "Frankly, I don't blame them. It may be my job to date the Decepticons for their knowledge, but I have worked my way through the Autobot ranks as well. I've made a lot of enemies without meaning to, and the femmes all hate me for having stolen away their mechs at one point or another."

Optimus felt a sense of dread settle in his chest like a stone. "But you deserve so much better," he said softly. "I can't believe you are treated this way by your own people. And for doing your job, no less." He shuddered once more at the incomprehensible thought.

Crystal lifted her face to look at him sadly, for once letting her true pain show. "I've always been treated this way. I've never known anything better."

Optimus made a promise to himself right then and there that Crystal would learn what it was like to be treated properly. "I'll teach you," he whispered, removing his mask and kissing the top of her head. He couldn't believe how quickly this relationship had gone from casual fling to something much deeper and ambiguous. Although he held this battered femme in his arms, a part of him yearned to be alone, to absorb and ponder this shocking information in privacy. But Crystal needed him, and he, for one, was not about to let her down. Someone had to be there for her. Then why did this whole relationship leave him with a feeling of foreboding?


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

Crystal woke up groggily, her systems booting up much more sluggishly than normal. It took her a moment to register that the recharge bed was moving. Then she felt cold metal underneath her cheek, its texture different from her sleeping nook. She pushed herself to a sitting position, groaning as the room spun around her. Where was she? What was going on?

She looked around her helplessly, the functioning half of her CPU dutifully reporting that she was in a small shuttlecraft. Trouble was, she didn't remember getting into a shuttlecraft. In fact, she hated interstellar travel - her time spent in the tunnels and caverns of Cybertron caused her to be wary of the open, inky-blackness of space. The last thing she remembered was tumbling into her recharge bed, laughing softly to herself at the memory of her beloved mech's arms around her. She had drifted right in to a deep state of recharge.

'I've been drugged!' she realized with dread, and her functions roared online, powered by fear. So none of this was a lapse in memory or a mistake. Someone wanted her out of the way, and had gone to considerable lengths to get the job done.

"ALITA!" Crystal roared, wincing as the loud exclamation echoed in the small cabin. There was no one else that wanted her out of the way that much. Her suspicions were confirmed as a small, sealed data case caught her eye. She picked it up, noticing that it was earmarked for her and security-encoded. She broke the code and opened the case, reading over the instructions typed out in Cybertronian hieroglyph.

Operative: Crystal, Intelligence Officer

Assignment: Surveillance

Details: Keep known Decepticons under surveillance and record any troop movements. You will be in the Poh region for an entire week, until your ship's hyperdrive can repair itself. After your mission is complete, you may return with your findings. Do not return until then.

Mission overseer: Femme Commander Alita One

"Aieeeeeeeeeeeee!" she screamed in rage, tossing the case aside, narrowly missing a computer console. "How I *hate* that femme!" she fumed. This whole mission was a sham! The Decepticons were too few in number and weak by this point to pose any threat, and getting back to base would be a nightmare. However, even if the Decepticons didn't pose a threat, there were plenty of space pirates and other such undesirables to make this region of space hazardous for a lone shuttle.

"Computer: diagnostics," she spat.

The computer dutifully reported the condition of the shuttle. "Current speed: impulse power. Current position: Poh star system. Shields and cloak operating at full power. Hyperdrive nonfunctional due to overuse. Estimated time for self-repair: one standard week."

Crystal breathed a sigh of relief. Deities be praised, at least the cloak was up. That would allow her to maneuver the shuttle undetected by passerby. It was a shame that the hyperdrive was offline, but she was sure that that was Alita's work. She knew, without accessing the flight log, that Alita had been the one to program this course and intentionally work the hyperdrive into burning itself out, stranding Crystal until it could repair itself. Crystal shuddered. She knew that Alita held a massive grudge, but she didn't think that the femme commander would go to these lengths to get rid of her. Of course, Alita had assured that she would have some means of defending herself, but if she did get injured or destroyed somehow, it was no polish off the femme commander's armor, now was it? Crystal cursed fluently in ancient Cybertronian. Now what was she to do?

"Computer," she said, trying to control the nervous tremor in her voice, "set a course back to Cybertron, maximum speed." Slag the mission! It was a farce, and she was not about to cater to her superior's whims.

"Acknowledged," the computer replied, and Crystal slumped down in her seat, cursing this latest turn of events. She hated feeling so helpless! She knew enough to plot a course, keep up the shields, and steer, but that was about it. And Alita knew it, damn her! It seemed that she would never be free from persecution, even amongst her so-called comrades-in arms. What a mockery the Autobot code was!


	10. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

Optimus Prime sat once more in his office, hands steepled in front of him, lost in thought. Yesterday's confrontations and arguments, primarily with Crystal, weighed heavily on his mind. He just couldn't bring himself to accept her words, that she had been forced by his former mate to compromise herself in order to gain information to benefit the Autobot cause. What horrible irony - in order to upkeep their ideals, they'd had to betray them utterly. A shudder of horror wracked his frame. It was a very good thing that the war was over, for Optimus would have surrendered to the Decepticons right then and there. It was better to lose the war with dignity than to win it by sacrificing every noble ideal that they had fought for.

'And what part did I play in this?' he mentally berated himself. 'Certainly the femmes were an autonomic unit after our departure, and they had to fend for themselves and make their own decisions, but as Autobot commander I have a responsibility to them. I should never have stranded them on Cybertron! Of course, I merely assumed that our shuttle flight would be brief, and that we'd return as soon as we gathered more energy. If only I'd left them with more materials, more energy, more protection, perhaps they wouldn't have been so hard-pressed to survive.' He sighed. 'Well, there's nothing I can do about that now. But still, when we made contact with the femmes once more, I should've seen to it that they behaved more like a sub-unit instead of their own private band. As a result, they drifted far from the purpose that they should have been fighting for. I don't know what they went through to allow them to sacrifice one of their own without a qualm, but I must take my part of the blame for it. And I do indeed have a large part of the blame to answer for.'

He shook his head in disgust, remembering the harsh and ugly words he'd hurled at the poor femme the day before. 'And what did I do when she revealed her true function in this army? I jumped to conclusions, I slandered her, and I accused her of treason. Good going, Optimus Prime. You're just as bad as those that sent her to the Decepticons. The poor femme. I admire her strong spirit. Anyone lesser would've already cracked under the strain.'

'Perhaps it's not too late!' he thought suddenly, brightening slightly. 'Perhaps I can make it up to her yet. She's missed out on so much. I hope that I can provide the caring and stability that she's so yearned for. Both I and this army have a lot to answer for, and I'm going to begin this second to make it up to her.'

Optimus turned to his computer console with renewed inspiration. He opened up the "locate" menu and typed "Crystal" in the space. The computer searched for a moment, then emitted a low, negative buzz. "Operative Crystal not in detectable parameters." Optimus grumbled an oath. What could that mean? The computer was capable of scanning the entire planet, except for a few remote locations. Okay then... He initiated a general search on Crystal, tracking her movements since the day before.

"For the love of Primus!" he exclaimed, jumping out of his seat at the findings. Crystal was slated for a mission deep in the Poh sector of space, as of today, and her ship had already left spacedock quite a few hours ago. And the authorizing officer for this decidedly pointless mission was...

"ALITA!" Optimus roared. He had a sinking sensation as he realized something very wrong was going on here. Surprising how you think you know someone... For the love of Primus, he'd been practically soul-bonded with this femme for nine million years, and now he was realizing that he didn't know her at all. Had the war really changed her, changed both of them, so much?

Enough was enough! He'd put a stop to all of this garbage, right away! He wouldn't allow any more of this to go on. He flipped on his radio with an angry snap and growled, "Alita One, this is Optimus Prime. Report to my office at once!"

"Acknowledged," a cool, feminine voice replied, sounding less than enthused. Optimus sat back, his anger simmering, to await the arrival of the femme that he had loved so much.

"What is going on here?" Optimus roared, thumping his desk in emphasis.

Alita jumped, a bit taken aback. She'd known that something was up when she'd received the curt radio summons, and she figured that he'd discovered her little plan to separate him from his new femme toy for a short while, but she hadn't realized quite how furious he was over the situation. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said, but not sounding very convincing.

"You know very well what I'm talking about. What did you do with Crystal?" he snapped.

"Oh, that. I sent her on a mission, that's all. Even though we're at peace, there's still a lot to do. We have to keep tabs on the Decepticons."

"That is true, but there's no reason to send a lone operative that far away to do it! And I doubt Crystal would've agreed to it. I have many operatives that are better suited to such a task. You are to check with me before authorizing any missions! You picked a soldier that was poorly suited for such an assignment, out of vengeance rather than out of professional consideration." His voice grew sad. "Alita, what's happened to you? I would have never believed you were capable of such cruelty. You sent one of your own females out on a risky and completely unnecessary mission, just to achieve some low goal of your own."

"I had to!" she snapped, unable to hide a look of guilt that flitted across her face. "You don't know Crystal nearly as well as I do! She uses men and then discards them like they were yesterday's fuel! You won't listen to reason; all you're interested in is a bit of fun! She has you wrapped around her finger, and you're so addled you can barely see it! I had to send Crystal away for your own good, to give you a chance to clear your head and see things objectively. She's a rotten energon cube, ruining everything she touches. Believe me, I know. She's wrecked more happy relationships than I can count. Although I did want her out of the way, I made sure that she would be safe during her mission and would return in one piece."

"That's not good enough!" Optimus roared, jumping to his feet and towering over the femme commander, who quailed under his look of wrath. "You deliberately put her in the path of danger to suit your own twisted goals, and I won't let you get away with it! And my private life is no longer any of your business! I can do whatever I please, and it just so happens that I *like* being with Crystal! There's not a single thing you can do about it, either. If she decides to leave me, so be it. Leave us alone to make our own decisions. That femme has been persecuted by you and your army long enough."

"Is that all?" Alita asked, not believing that she was about to get off with anything harsher than a lecture.

"It most certainly is not!" Prime snapped. "This abuse ends here! Alita One, for the abuse of your command power, you are hereby stripped of rank and are restricted to quarters until a court martial can be convened. From this moment, the femmes are directly under my command. And if I can't straighten out this mess, Primus help us all." He pinned her with a sorrowful gaze, his voice dropping in tone. "Alita, what's happened to us? I used to think that I could face anything with you by my side, but lately we can't even sit next to each other without getting into a fight."

"I-I don't know," Alita whispered, looking at the floor. "I miss the way things were, too, but I can't stand seeing Crystal manipulate you. That femme is up to no good, I just know it."

"Well, let me worry about that. I'm a grown bot; I can take care of myself," Optimus replied. "I want you to think long and hard about what you've put Crystal through. I will work on getting a tribunal together for a court martial. In the meantime, you are to go to your quarters and wait. I'll notify the femmes of the change in command structure."

"I'm sorry, Optimus," Alita whispered. "For everything. But if I had the chance to do it all over again, I don't think I'd change anything."

"Then it is I who should be sorry, Alita, for allowing any of this to occur. I just pray that all of this turns out for the best."


	11. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Crystal stared moodily out the window, watching the endless stream of stars streak by. Other than the odd planet or ship, it was all she had seen for the past week. To be honest, it was starting to drive her batty. She began to feel as if she was the only being in the galaxy. It seemed as if her head would simply float away if she didn't hold it down. She shuddered, recognizing the symptoms of some kind of shock. After living underground for so long, space travel, for even short periods of time, was difficult to handle, but such an extended time by herself was beginning to eat away at the edges of her sanity.

"I must stay calm," she told herself. "Repairs on the hyperdrive are nearly complete. Once that's done, I'll be back at Iacon in no time. Then I'll be with Optimus again, and I'll know I'm not alone."

'But you might as well be,' a mocking voice replied. 'Nobody else likes you. Alita even went so far as to stick you on the other side of the galaxy to be rid of you. Even though Chromia and a few others are at least polite, they don't really want you around. Even Optimus doesn't love you. He's just using you, like all the others before him.'

"NO!" she screamed, the cry bouncing off the metallic walls of the ship and echoing through her head. "It *can't* be true! Optimus loves me! He's noble and loyal and wouldn't take advantage of me. I've wanted him for so long, and now that he's mine I won't ever let him go!"

'You're just kidding yourself,' the voice piped up once more. 'He doesn't love you; he just loves how you make him feel. He's probably still in love with Alita. He'll go crawling back to her, just wait and see. Nobody really cares about you at all. Even Moonracer is just a casual friend. I can see it in her optics - what you used to do with the Decepticons creeps her out. And as for the other femmes, like Sunrunner, they'd like to flay you alive for breaking up their relationships. It's been seven million years, and clearly Sunrunner still carries a grudge.'

"That's slag!" Crystal shrieked, covering her audials in a futile attempt to shut off the mocking, destructive voice in her head. "If the guys truly loved their girlfriends, they wouldn't have been tempted by me. I was only selling what they were buying, nothing more. And it's not as if the femmes haven't had flings of their own. It's not my nature to be tied down, so the femmes hate me for what I am. Well, maybe things will change with Optimus. He's the only mech I've ever truly wanted, and now that I have him I won't even so much as look at another mech."

'True, but can you say the same thing for him? He's had his own track record, you know. For him, you're just another in a line of flings and one-night stands. He'll soon tire of you and return to that pink twit.'

"No, he won't!" Crystal cried. "He *can't*! He broke up with her, he can't love her anymore. He's with me now, and that's all there is to it! I'll do anything he asks. I'll make him so happy he won't even look at another femme for the rest of his life. Anything he wants, I'll do it for him."

Silence greeted this last remark. And somehow, it was more disconcerting than any words her own mind could conjure.

Crystal jumped as a crackling noise hit her audials. "What's that? Who's there?" she yelped, looking around, finally realizing that it was coming from her communicator.

/Autobot operative Crystal, come in. This is the Autobot shuttle Stealth mark III. Please reply./

She was frozen to the spot for a moment, then suddenly she regained mobility, tripping over her feet in her haste to get to the front viewscreen. She twisted a dial, and the shape of an Autobot shuttle came into view. "Hooray! I'm saved!" she cried joyfully. /Stealth III, this is operative Crystal. Boy, am I glad to see you!/

/Likewise,/ the voice replied, somehow sounding less enthused. /Stand by for towing./ A tractor beam emerged from the larger shuttle and snared Crystal's small ship, tugging it along for the ride. /Engaging hyperdrive in five seconds. Don't worry, we'll have you back in just a few hundred astrominutes./

/Thank Primus!/ Crystal radioed back. /Thank you, Stealth III. By the way, is Optimus aboard?/

/Negative,/ the Stealth pilot replied. /He sent us on a mission to find you, but he had to stay behind to take care of the usual affairs. He'll meet you upon our return./

"Oh," Crystal said, feeling absurdly let down. 'Of course he didn't come to meet you! He has other pressing engagements and responsibilities, you ninny!' Still, a part of her desperately wanted him to be here for her. Somehow she thought that if it was Alita that had been stranded, Optimus himself would have come to her rescue.

/Um, okay, no problem. Thank you for all your help, Stealth III./

/No problem. Engaging hyperdrive now./

Crystal strapped herself into the harness on the pilot's chair, bracing herself for the transition to hyperspace. She barely noticed as the shuttle trembled beneath her, seemingly ready to shake itself apart. All she could think about was how disappointed she felt. Here she was being rescued and she felt as if she'd been abandoned. How ridiculous was that?


	12. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Crystal's fears evaporated as soon as the shuttles set a landing course for Iacon's main landing pad, and she spotted Optimus Prime outside, waiting for them. And yet, despite the wave of relief that flooded her, a tight knot of fear remained deep in her belly. 'Stop being so silly,' she told herself. 'He came, didn't he? He cares about me after all!' Still, a part of herself, the part that had been abandoned too many times, remained unconvinced.

As the Stealth III approached the landing pad, it released her, and its pilot coaxed her through the landing sequence. With trembling hands, Crystal guided down the shuttle to its docking space. "Thank Primus!" she cried as soon as the ship touched down. "I *never* want to go through that again!"

"You won't, I promise," said a warm, caring voice. Crystal spun about in her seat to see Optimus standing at the open shuttle door, the pilot and small crew of the Stealth III behind him.

"Optimus!" she cried happily, launching herself out of her seat and into his arms, causing him to stagger a bit under the unexpected assault. "I was so scared!" she cried, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her face into his chest. "The only thing that kept me sane was the thought of you."

Optimus patted her back a bit awkwardly, taken aback by this sudden display of affection. "Well, you're safe now, and you have nothing to worry about. I'm here for you."

"A-Alita sent me off on that dreadful farce! There's no telling what she'll do next to get rid of me!" Crystal trembled in dread. Normally she could give as well as she got, but this latest experience had taken a lot out of her. She wasn't up to any more plots of revenge any time soon.

"Don't worry," Optimus murmured comfortingly in her audial. "Alita has been stripped of rank and will be court-martialed soon due to her abuse of power. You have nothing to fear from her, since she has been restricted to quarters."

"Oh, Optimus, you're the best!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck. "I never should have doubted you! I feel so lucky to have you as a partner."

"Hrm, well, thank you," Optimus said, fidgeting uncomfortably. The shuttle crew wisely took its cue and beat a hasty retreat. "I've given you the next two days off to recover. Perhaps you'd like to go to your quarters to rest now."

"Please come with me!" Crystal begged, still shook up. "I'm afraid to go alone."

"Okay, but I can't stay," Optimus told her, taking her arm and escorting her to her quarters. Crystal basked in the warmth of his arm in hers. 'Maybe we can just be a normal couple,' she thought to herself. 'Maybe all of this will work out for the best.'

They stopped outside her quarters. Optimus reluctantly dropped her arm and stepped back. "Listen, I have a lot to get done. I'd like to see you tomorrow, but for now I'd just be tiring you out. You'd better get some recharge and recover from your ordeal."

"Alright," Crystal replied, feeling hurt. He was right; she did need rest, but she wanted him by her side. She understood that he had responsibilities and didn't want to interfere with them, but she had just been through a frightening experience, and she wanted to be held and comforted. She shook off a heavy feeling of dread that settled over her. "Go get your work done. It'll leave us more time together later."

"Yes," Optimus murmured, sounding very far away. "I'll do that. Goodbye, Crystal." He turned and strode down the hall without a backward glance.

Crystal shivered, feeling, as the terran saying went, as if someone had just walked over her grave. Had she done something wrong? Why was he acting so cold and distant all of a sudden? Could it be that he was losing interest in her? No, it couldn't be! He loved her! He had to! She slipped into her quarters and curled into a tight ball on her recharge berth, hands over her audials, trying to shut out the negative thoughts. Optimus was all that she had in the world that made her happy. If she lost him, she didn't know what she'd do.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Crystal thrashed on the sheets, in the grip of a terrible nightmare. Coolant poured from her writhing frame as her limbs moved jerkily, as if trying to fight off an unseen assailant. "Noooo!" she screamed. It seemed to be a miracle that she did not completely roll off the recharge berth and fall on her head. Somehow, despite her wild gestures, she managed to remain in place. However, that concern was lost on her. She was trapped in the world of dreams, suffocating in a nightmare realm of her own creation, borne out of her worst fears. She fought valiantly to get out, but seemed to only further entangle herself in the web of half-formed fears and dark intuition.

/He doesn't love you! He can't stand to be with you right now!/ a mental voice thundered in her head. Optimus Prime's face appeared out of the murky blackness to sneer at her. "You're nothing to me. I was just getting my kicks with you. And you really think I care about you? Ha!"

"No!" Crystal screamed, mercury tears flowing down her cheeks. "Say it isn't true! Of all people, I expected you to be more understanding!"

"You expect too much. Who would ever fall in love with such a lowlife like you?" The Autobot leader stepped back into the shadows, a sneer plastered on the visible features of his upper face.

Alita's face lunged forward, nearly touching hers. "He's mine, and he always will be! He never cared for you! Stop deluding yourself and face it! With your past, no man would want to touch you. You have no friends here, Crystal. I wish you'd have died on that spaceship. You're just one giant loose end, the proverbial sore thumb that sticks out in the Autobot army. We all would be much better off without you. You've served your purpose, and now we no longer have any need of you. You should just take the hint and leave!"

Alita turned with a cruel smile and embraced the Autobot leader. "Optimus' heart will always be mine, no matter what you do. You will always be alone in the world." Optimus removed his mask, revealing the same cruel smirk. "I only have optics for you, Alita. I don't know what I ever saw in that floozy." He captured her lips in a passionate kiss. Alita's laughter somehow filtered through the kiss, echoing through Crystal's head.

Crystal screamed, feeling her world burst apart in a million flying shards. NO!

The femme thrashed awake, tangled in the bed coverings, soaked in her own coolant. She dimly realized that the loud yet strangely distant screaming was coming from herself. Yet, somehow, she couldn't bring herself to stop. She clutched her head cushion to her face, howling into it as drops of cleansing solution fell from her bleary optics. 'A dream,' she told herself over and over, 'it's just a dream. None of it is true!' But a deep, secret part of her refused to believe it. The images were borne out of her worst fears, and she knew that her fears had some very real grounds. It didn't take much imagination at all to turn her phantom fears into reality.

She shuddered and curled into a tight ball, trying to ward off the shadows crowding her head. 'I can't stand it! I can't be alone with my own thoughts tonight. I need to get out, to find someone to stay with, just to remind myself that I'm not alone in the world. But where can I go?' Unbidden, an image of Optimus smiling down upon her came to mind. 'No, no, I can't disturb him,' she chided herself. 'He needs his rest, and I'm sure he'll get sick of me if he sees me too often. But he's the only one that truly seems to give a damn about me,' another shudder of horror wracked her, 'and I need him right now! He's always there when any of us needs him. Surely he'll understand.' Before she even realized it, she was up and moving, snapping on her outer armor and trying futilely to wipe away the tracks of tears that streaked her face. Right now, Optimus was her only hope. She prayed that he wouldn't cast her aside.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

Optimus was dragged out of a deep recharge state by a loud pounding on the door. "Eermg," he muttered, half-conscious, putting his head cushion over his audials and trying to get back to a dormant state. The pounding continued, however, and bit by bit, his higher functions came online. "Who is it?" he croaked when he'd awakened enough to active his vocal unit and press the intercom button to speak to whoever was outside.

"It's Crystal. Please, can I come in?"

"Crystal, not tonight," Optimus groaned, "I'm too pooped to do anything physical."

A muffled sob came from outside the door. "Is that all you think I'm good for? I came here for a bit of solace, and you accuse me of only wanting physical contact! How could you?" Her voice broke, choking on another sob.

Optimus groaned. He definitely did not need this right now. He was too tired and too groggy to coherently handle the situation. "All right, come in," he sighed, pressing a button that remotely unlocked the door. As soon as Crystal entered, he resealed the doors, shielding his dimmed optics from the bright light from the hallway that had blinded him when she entered. "What's wrong? You look terrible," he said, a note of concern in his voice. She looked like she'd just crawled through hell.

"Everything!" she choked, rushing into his arms, burying her head on his shoulder and sobbing. "I just had the most terrible dream, and I was so afraid that it was true. Thank Primus you're here, or I don't know what I'd do!"

Stunned, all Optimus could do was hold the quivering femme. He found Crystal to be an enigma even when he was fully awake, and now that only half of his higher functions were fully charged and online, he just didn't know what to think. He knew this much: Crystal was in bad shape and in need of some comfort. Anything else was secondary. "Don't worry, you're safe here," he said soothingly, patting her back.

Soon Crystal's tears slowed, and she snuggled against him contently, her frame jerking with the occasional sob. "Thank you," she murmured softly. "Thank you so much for being here for me. I just don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so much!" Her voice broke again, and she had to fight back another flood of tears.

Optimus had no idea what to do about this latest revelation. "Just lay back and get some recharge," he said, trying to be comforting. "You need to gather your strength again. You've been through some terrible things the past week or two, and you need to rest."

"It's not that," she said groggily, systems already cycling down. "It's my whole life. I just feel so unwanted, like I serve no purpose anymore. I'm just in the way. If it weren't for your love, I'd have no reason to go on."

"Don't talk like that!" Optimus exclaimed, alarmed by the latest turn of events. "You have plenty of value. Don't listen to anyone that says otherwise. You have a lot to offer, and anyone that doesn't see it isn't deserving of your talents."

"What talents?" Crystal laughed bitterly. "All I can do is have relationships with mechs, and that never lasts long. I've never had a real emotional connection before. It hurts to realize that I have no one to turn to."

Optimus wondered why he couldn't make himself speak the words that he knew she needed and wanted to hear. Why couldn't he tell her that he loved her, that he'd always be there for her? Why wouldn't the words come? What was wrong with him? She seemed so despondent, convinced that her existence was worth nothing, and all he could think of was how wrong it felt to have her in his private living quarters, to share this recharge berth with her, where he had slept next to Alita for so long. Was his love so stingy that it couldn't warm the heart of one abandoned femme? His mouth worked uselessly, finally voicing a few lame sentences. "Things look bad now because you're still haunted by your bad dream. Get some more recharge, and your outlook will be brighter in the morning."

"Thank you, Optimus," Crystal murmured, allowing her systems to slip into a recharge-ready state. "You always know just what to say to make things right. You're the first male that I felt I could truly trust with my feelings. That's why I love you."

Optimus gazed down at her sadly, wishing so badly that he could answer her pledge of devotion. "Sweet dreams, Crystal," he whispered, a hitch in his voice. He lay down beside her, arms twined loosely around her chassis, yet he felt as if he was lying miles apart from her. Unable to deal with such confusing thoughts, he gratefully powered down his systems and slipped into recharge.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

Crystal lay awake, staring at the ceiling. Once again, dark tendrils had snaked into her peaceful rest mode and disturbed her thoughts, waking her with a jolt, trembling and sweating coolant. She clenched her fists and tried desperately to get her rampaging systems under control. After a few minutes, her functions began to resume their normal pace, and she sank back against the berth, drained. She reached out to caress Optimus' cheek, but he flinched away from her touch. She tried to not let it disturb her, thinking that perhaps he was dreaming about the Decepticons, but a part of her was deeply hurt. He was supposed to like her touch!

'You aren't getting away so easily!' she thought, taking his head firmly in her hands and kissing him lingeringly. It must have worked, for a dreamy smile crossed his slumbering features. "That's better," she admonished him, holding his face still for her admiration.

Optimus let out a breathy sigh, wrapped deep in recharge. "Mm ah," he murmured, struggling to form words. "I love you..." he managed, and Crystal's heart soared. He *did* love her after all! Which made his next word all the more crushing, as he went on to say, "...Alita..."

Crystal dropped his head, and it snapped back to land on the pillow with a muted thud. She backed away, both hands clamped in horror, muffling the small choking sounds that slipped from her throat. No! Primus, no! Please, please, *please* let this be just another terrible dream! She slapped herself roughly across the face. The stinging pain was much more mental than physical as she realized that this was all too real. Though the whole situation felt so surreal, and the darkness gave it a nightmarish edge, she could fool herself no longer. Optimus had inadvertently confessed his true soul's feelings. He was indeed in love, but not with her. Oh, never with her! Perhaps he had tried to convince himself that he cared for her, since she needed him so much, but despite her immense experience in dating males, nothing she could do could make him love her the way she so desperately loved him.

Optimus' functions booted up quickly as he felt his head fall back. His optics struggled to focus, making out a small, sobbing figure curled up on the other side of the recharge berth. "Wha? What's going on?"

The sound of his voice merely caused Crystal to cringe away, sobbing harder. "It's all true! You don't love me! Oh, Primus, take my spark now! I have nothing left in this world," she cried, barely intelligible through her sobs.

"Deities help me," Optimus whispered, staring at the shattered femme. He knew deep down that there was nothing he could do to repair such a grievous wound. 'Her love for me has only brought her pain. Primus, am I cursed to hurt everyone that has cared for me?' "This has to stop!" he said aloud. No more would he lead Crystal astray. He had to set her straight on how things were between them. He had hoped that his caring would be enough, that perhaps in time he would come to love her, but he had only been deluding himself, just as her fantasies of him blinded her to the true nature of their relationship.

Crystal straightened up to look at him, tears still streaming endlessly down her face. Optimus felt an emotional wound tear itself wide open in his chest at the pitiful gaze, but he steeled himself against it. There would be plenty of time for regrets later, but now there was something that had to be said. "Crystal, I'm sorry, but I do not love you. I do care for you and your well-being, but there can never be anything romantic between us. I apologize for inadvertently taking advantage of you, but by breaking off this relationship with you, I hope to set things right. You deserve someone who will love you whole-heartedly, without reservation. I am not that male and never could be. Much as I have tried to deny it, I still love Alita One, and can only hope that one day she will come back to me. Please do not be sad. You deserve so much better."

"You still lie!" Crystal cried through the tears. "I know that you want to let me down easily, but such a thing is just not possible. I know that I do not deserve true love, but a part of me hoped that you could still care for me in spite of my flaws. Now I realize that I am not fit to be anyone's mate. I'm sorry that I forced myself upon you. I'll go now." She got up off of the recharge berth shakily, heading for the door. She turned suddenly and fixed her former love with a penetrating gaze. "Alita and I have never been the best of friends. In fact," she laughed bitterly, "we have quite the little rivalry. I always hated her so, because she had you, and you were everything I ever wanted in a mech. But now I see that I can never have anyone like you, and I have to accept it. Much as it pains me to say it, I want you to be happy, and if your happiness is with her, then so be it. I won't interfere. Just be happy. Soon you'll forget all about me, and that's for the best."

"Crystal, wait!" Optimus cried out, struck to the core with horror at how badly all of this had turned out. But it was too late. She was gone, leaving him alone in his darkened quarters. 'Am I doomed to be alone forever?' he asked himself. 'Am I unfit to truly love? Or is it not too late? Perhaps I can get Alita back after all. But first I had better follow Crystal. I don't want her to do anything rash! In this state of mind, who knows what she may do!"


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

Crystal ran blindly down the halls, mindless of where she was going, or who she ran into. She just wanted to get as far away from Optimus Prime as possible. Yet she knew that it was herself that she was truly running away from, and that she could never escape.

She rounded a corner and ran smack into a figure. Reeling, she teetered backward, crashing down on her aft. She registered the pain dimly, her head still filled with too much mental agony to notice a few new dents. She got to her feet in a trance, preparing to continue her aimless wanderings.

"Hey, stop right there!" the figure cried, grabbing her roughly by the arm and jerking her back.

Crystal's optics focused hazily on a mass of pink. She shook her head, and the form congealed into the recognizable features of Alita One. "You!" she choked, jerked out of her dark thoughts. "What are you doing out here? I thought you were restricted to quarters!"

"I am, thanks to you," Alita sneered, " but I am allowed out at very early hours if I am accompanied by someone." Another form caught Crystal's optic, and she turned to notice Sunrunner edging away nervously.

"I don't want any part of this," Sunrunner said nervously. "I'm out of here. You two settle your score alone." With that she turned and strode hastily away.

"That's a very good idea," Alita sneered. "We do have a score to settle, don't we?"

"Not that I know of," Crystal spat, her mind coming out of its fog of sorrow. Alita naturally brought out her anger, and this time a showdown seemed inevitable. "You have everything you could have ever wanted, and what do I have? Nothing! Not even self-respect!"

"Take this, then!" Alita cried, swinging her fist and connecting solidly with Crystal's jaw. "That's for all the trouble you've caused me!"

"And this for the ruin you've made of my life!" Crystal screamed, losing all reason as she sprang upon her former commander, knocking her to the floor and raining punches on her face and chest.

"Aaaagh!" Alita yelled in pain, twisting to avoid the blows. She bucked upward with her body, unseating Crystal long enough to knock her off completely with a mean right hook.

Crystal landed on her side, head connecting with the floor with a sickening thud. Her audials were filled with a loud screech, and error messages scrolled across her optic readout. She switched off the warnings angrily. She didn't care what kind of damage she had; she wanted this confrontation finished! This had been building for millions of years, and it was time to resolve it. Alita had this coming, and Crystal was delighted to be the one to dish it out. For a brief moment she felt alive.

Crystal got to her feet a bit shakily, ducking to narrowly miss another punch that was directed at her head. "Die!" she shrieked, lashing out and kicking Alita right in the stomach. The femme commander doubled over, giving Crystal a perfect place to land her fist. The pink femme fell to the floor with a satisfying clang. "Get up! Get up and face me, slag you! I've wanted to do this for so long, and you won't deny me now!"

"Gladly!" Alita snarled, springing to her feet and diving atop Crystal, raining punches anywhere she could. But Crystal barely felt the pain, barely noticed the fuel trickling from numerous gashes and open wounds. All she could see was the author of her suffering before her, and she was determined to repay her suffering in kind.

"Why do you hate me so much?" she growled as Alita evaded her kick. "What did I ever do to you? I followed every one of your orders, no matter how sickening. I've been loyal, I've obeyed, and what do I get? Hatred and disgust from everyone!"

"That's because you *are* disgusting!" Alita shrieked, slamming into Crystal with her shoulder, knocking the red-and-blue femme flat on her back. "All you're good for is stealing our boyfriends and polluting our ranks! You've been with most of the mechs in the Autobot *and* Decepticon armies, and you'd need a whole library of black books to keep track of them! It's one thing to do it upon orders, but you've turned it into a way of life! It's sickening! Why do you have to cause so much trouble? Why can't you just be like the rest of us?" She grabbed Crystal around the throat and squeezed.

"Because I'm *not* like the rest of you!" Crystal choked.

"That's right, you're not," Alita sneered. "The rest of us are a tight bunch, but you don't fit in anywhere, do you? You always have to be the troublemaker. You aren't deserving of whatever nice treatment you get! You're a reminder of all the nasty, dirty things we've had to do to get ahead in our war. You're devious and back-stabbing! I honestly don't know what Optimus sees in you. But he's always been the bleeding-heart type. Then again, perhaps he's just buying what you're selling. He told me himself that you're just a good time to him. What do you think about that? Or is that all you're good for anyway?"

"Of course it is! And you're the one who made me that way! You robbed me of my self-respect and degraded me until it was the only way I knew of to relate to people. I hate you for that! And now I don't even have Optimus!" Her voice broke, and she twisted her head in Alita's grasp, trying to hide the tears that sprang to her optics. "All I've ever wanted is someone to truly love me for what I am, despite all my flaws. And I would love him in return and would be faithful to him. But Optimus doesn't love me. All he can think about is you." 'Don't let this happen! Don't let her see you weaken!' a voice screamed at her, but it was too late, as her optics brimmed with cleansing fluid. "Can't you see how much he cares about you? I can't make him love me, no matter what I do. You've got everything I want, and you threw it away. And he still wants you back! I guess you're right. I just don't deserve that kind of love." Crystal closed her optics in defeat, letting black despair engulf her once more. "Go ahead and finish it. It will be a relief to me."

Alita was frozen to the spot, unable to process such mind-boggling input. Crystal's sudden black mood was shocking, and she struggled to come to terms with it, but that thought was eclipsed by another. Optimus loved her! He wanted to be with her again! If she could be his mate again, then nothing else in the universe was important.

"Alita! Crystal!" a familiar voice yelled. "What in the name of Cybertron is going on here?"

"Optimus!" Alita cried, releasing her captive and jumping up to face her former lover. "Is it true? Did you really break up with Crystal so you could be with me again?"

"I, uh..." Optimus hesitated.

"Please say it's true. I've missed you so!" Alita sighed, embracing him tightly.

Optimus could no longer keep his defenses from crumbling. "It is," he murmured, stroking her battle helmet. "And I've missed you too. I've felt so hollow these past few weeks, like I'm wading in slow-motion through a dream."

"Let's promise to never part again," Alita declared, leaning back to stare into his piercing blue optics.

"It's a deal," Optimus said softly, allowing Alita to remove his mask. The two kissed sweetly, holding each other close, savoring the moment. Finally they broke apart, smiling at each other shyly, glad to have been given this second chance.

Optimus Prime's expression slowly faded from something akin to euphoria to dread and shame. "Oh dear, where did Crystal go to?" he exclaimed, noticing that the hallway was eerily empty. "I hope she isn't too upset. She took the breakup rather poorly."

"I think she did at that," Alita said reluctantly, unwilling to part from her mate's arms. "Maybe she'll feel better if we just left her alone for awhile. After all, she's been badly hurt by both of us."

Optimus shook his head gravely. "No, Alita, we must find her right away, before she does something drastic. It is true that we caused her suffering, but that only means that we must do something to alleviate it. The Autobot army has wronged that poor femme too many times, and it's high time we did something to make up for it."

"What should we do?" Alita asked. "She didn't seem to want to talk to anyone."

"She doesn't have to talk if she doesn't want to. I just want to make sure that she's okay." Optimus spotted a thin trail of fuel on the floor. "Well, this should be easy enough. Primus, she's really leaking. What did you do to her?"

"Nothing very nice," Alita replied, sounding both angry and ashamed. "Come on, let's get going so I can wash my hands of this mess." Optimus shook his head and followed her, praying that he could resolve this terrible situation before it snowballed further out of control.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Crystal leaned against the railing weakly, feeling the slow trickle of her life-fluids running down her side. The sensation, albeit disturbing, was little more than a tickle at the back of her CPU. Right now, her slight injuries were the least of her concerns.

"How beautiful it all looks!" she marveled, staring out at the starlit sky far above the slumbering city of Iacon. Part of her relished the peace, while another part of her resented it, for she could never be a part of it. It was at times like this that she wondered about the existence of Primus. She wanted so desperately to believe in a power greater than herself, that there was a force of pure benevolence somewhere in the universe. If such a force existed, it would make her suffering worthwhile. And yet, if Primus did exist, why would he allow her to live in such misery? It was a conundrum that never failed to give her a headache. She had stopped praying to Primus long ago. If he'd heard her prayers, he'd never answered them.

'Well, I guess I'll find out for sure if he exists or not,' she thought, caressing her chest. Buried inside, as with every Transformer, was the spark of energy that granted her life. Though, during her darkest days, she wondered if it was all some kind of twisted joke that allowed her continued existence. At long last, it would all come to an end. All of her suffering, the feeling of being caught between two worlds, never able to reconcile her lifestyle with those of her fellow femmes - she was going to stop it. Finally, with this one final act, she could end this farce and stop living on other people's terms. Whether she would go to Primus, Unicron, or simply cease to exist, she did not know, and truly did not care. As long as it wasn't here.

Never taking her eyes off the brilliant star-studded sky, her hands found the hairline welding lines of her torso armor and dug in, pulling violently until the metal tore off with a jerk, flying off to land a short distance away. The trickle of fuel quickly became a small river, but it went unheeded as Crystal smiled up at the unheeding sky. Liberation was so close...

She looked down at last, ignoring the mangled sides of her torso as her gaze focused on the softly glowing white sphere, surrounded by a gray armor case, the front of the case protected by a translucent but very strong bubble. It glowed a bit brighter as she looked upon it, as if recognizing that she was its owner. In spite of herself, Crystal's soul warmed a bit as she studied it. 'What a miracle, that something so fragile could give us life. It's really quite beautiful. I really don't deserve it.' At that thought, a lifetime's worth of emotional pain swamped her, and her vision clouded under a haze of cleansing fluid.

She wiped away the tears angrily. 'No, I must be strong!' she told herself. 'All of that will be over soon, and I will be at peace.' The idea reassured her, and she felt an eerie calm steal over her soul. She had made the decision, and nothing could hold her back now. Her life, at long, long last, was her own, to do with as she saw fit. And with this last act, she would free herself from this world that had tormented her for so long.

She slipped one hand into her chest cavity, avoiding the jagged edges left from where her armor had been torn away. Her fingers closed over her spark, almost protectively, and then, with a sudden wrench, crushed the glowing sphere in her grasp. Crystal gasped sharply, in pain and in a perverse happiness, as she felt an electric jolt pass through her body. The fuel cables that ran through her vital systems burst open under the stress, staining the ground below her with her dark, rich lifeblood. She swooned and fell backwards, seemingly in slow-motion, the loss of energy making her very lightheaded. She turned her head to the side, looking contentedly at the inky-black sky. Suddenly she went numb all over, the pain fading to a faint buzz at the back of her mind. 'Soon I will be one with the stars,' she thought, and with that, her vision cut out, filled with static and large black splotches. With a huge sense of relief and liberation, she gave herself up and let the darkness claim her.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

/Author's note: I've chosen to resurrect Ratchet for my own purposes. If Optimus could be resurrected, perhaps the funeral barge containing the others could be salvaged and the other deceased Autobots restored. That is the one element that I've changed from the cartoon storyline./

"This way!" Optimus called out to Alita, following the sputtering trail of fuel that Crystal had left behind. "Please, Primus, let her be okay!" he murmured to himself, unable to shake the feeling of foreboding that had settled in his belly like a lead weight. He had the dreadful sense that they were already too late.

"NO! By the deities, this can't be!" Prime exclaimed, a hand coming up to cover his once-again masked face. From the doorway he could see Crystal's crumpled figure lying on the observation balcony, a puddle of fuel forming underneath her. He activated his radio, calling out, "Ratchet! Medical emergency, observation deck!"

"Oh, lord, what happened?" Alita cried, coming up behind Optimus and catching a glimpse of Crystal's body.

"We have to help her!" Optimus exclaimed, hastening over to the fallen femme. He wiped away the fuel that smeared her chassis as best as he could, choking in horror and revulsion when the full damage was revealed. Fuel lines had burst, slowly but surely draining her of her life fluids, but Optimus had seen that before and knew how to deal with it. What he *didn't* know how to handle was the spark case, crushed almost beyond recognition, with deep finger grooves along the sides. He turned aside, feeling vertigo swamping him, causing the room to spin sickeningly.

"Careful!" Alita cried, hurrying over to prop up her mate. "You've got to keep it together and tell me what's wrong. What happened to her?"

"She - she crushed her own spark casing! She hated her life so much that she wanted to tear it out of her body!" Optimus choked, powering down his optics in sorrow. He would have gladly spent the rest of his life with Crystal to spare her this agony. He couldn't help but feel responsible for what happened to her.

Alita, who in a way was more inured to the hardships of war than her mate, who had spent most of the war protected in a fortified base, peeked around the male's shuddering body. A glint caught her optic. "Optimus..." she said slowly, not wanting to get her love's hopes up. "I think I see something."

Optimus straightened up and turned back to the corpse, pushing his grief and guilt aside. There would be plenty of time for that later. This time he saw it too - a definite sparkle. "Could it be?" he asked, scarcely daring to hope. He knelt down and cautiously brushed the leaking fuel off of the spark casing. He cried out in relief. Her spark still glowed! Its hue was grayish and very faint, but it was still online.

"We still have a chance!" Optimus exclaimed, wrenching open a panel in his leg and withdrawing a medical kit. He, like most Transformers, had some medical schooling and knew how to stop minor leaks. While the damage before him was quite serious, he was confident that he could repair at least some of it before Ratchet arrived. "Help me, Lita," he beseeched her, staring into her optics and handing her a fistful of bandage plates. She nodded back wordlessly, moved by her mate's determination. Both of them bent over the broken body, Alita suppressing a shudder as they gently picked up one burst fuel line after another and wrapped the bandage plates around them, the polymers quickly sealing the breaks.

Optimus lifted his head and smiled wearily behind his mask as he heard the squeal of tires approaching, and the loud wail of a siren. Help had arrived.

"Optimus! What happened here?" a voice called as the ambulance transformed, running over.

"She tried to take her own life," Optimus said softly, looking down at the femme cradled in his arms.

"Crystal! It can't be!" Ratchet exclaimed, kneeling down by the injured femme. He had known her for a long time, and had been one of the very few mechs who had resisted her advances. He had found her to be very charming and attractive, but there was a dark side to her that worried him. Still, they had come to be casual friends, joking around as he repaired her wounds time after time. Though it hurt to see her this way, a part of him was not surprised. He had known that she was heading down a very dark road, and yet he had only been able to watch helplessly, unsure of what to say or do to relieve the femme's burdens.

Ratchet pulled out a cylindrical scanner and took Crystal's readings. "She's very low on fuel. You two did an excellent patching job, but it will all be for nothing unless we get some fuel into her immediately. Her fuel pump is starting to fail already. Her spark casing will have to be replaced as well, for it's putting incredible pressure on her spark, but that will have to wait. If we don't get her more fuel, she'll die!"

Optimus looked at the body in his arms, then at his best friends. "I volunteer to be a donor," he said quietly. Since all Transformers had the same type of fuel, there was no worry about compatibility.

"Excellent. Let's get started," Ratchet said, clapping his hands together. Optimus opened up a small hatch on his side, attaching a tube that Ratchet handed him to a similar hatch on Crystal's body. "Be careful," the medic warned. "Start the flow slowly, or you may send her systems into shock. You also don't want to drain yourself too quickly."

"Will do," Optimus said, sounding a bit strained as he allowed the fuel transfer to start. The life-giving fluid began to flow from the Autobot leader into his patient, revitalizing her systems bit by bit. Ratchet watched the readings on his scanner grimly, breathing a silent sigh of relief as they gradually crept out of the critical range. As Optimus continued to refuel the femme, Ratchet took a closer look at the spark casing, shaking his head. It took some kind of misery to want to do such a painful thing to yourself. Despite the grisly nature of the wound, a part of him had to hand it to Crystal. She always had a flair for the dramatic.

Optimus reeled a bit as his energy level began to sag dangerously low. "Okay, that's enough from you!" Ratchet declared, jumping up to disconnect the feed. "We can't have you going offline as well."

"But it's not enough!" Optimus exclaimed. "She needs much more!"

"You've done enough," Ratchet said gently, taking Prime's hand in his own and squeezing gently. "Draining yourself dry won't take away the guilt you feel. Right now she needs all of us to stand by her, and to be strong for her. I don't want to risk moving Crystal to medbay until her vital systems have more fuel to run on, but Alita can finish the fuel transfer. Is that okay with you, Alita?"

"Of-of course," Alita stammered, surprised by the request. She took Prime's place and allowed Ratchet to attach the transfer tube. Ratchet obviously didn't know about her scuffle with Crystal, but she was sure that he *did* know about their longtime rivalry and understood that she felt a large measure of guilt herself. For the first time, Alita allowed her anger to drain away, and what she saw was a femme to be pitied, not hated. And although her logic circuitry told her that Crystal's attempt to take her life was not her fault, that the femme's emotional problems were due to many factors, she couldn't shake the crushing weight of blame that rested on her head. She had been the last to see Crystal, and she had said some very cruel things and had actually picked a fight with her. "I'm sorry!" she wailed suddenly, curling forward, hiding her head in her arms, sobs wracking her chassis. "I'm so sorry!"

Optimus hastened to console her. "Don't cry," he murmured, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. "We all bear part of the blame for what has happened, but we've been given a chance to make it better. Crystal needs us to be strong."

With all the raw emotion surrounding him, Ratchet felt himself getting choked up as well. "Please come back to us," he whispered, gently squeezing Crystal's hand. "There are people here who care about you. You have to pull through this!"

"Is there anything else we can do?" Optimus asked worriedly, still holding his beloved mate.

"Now I have to secure her spark," Ratchet replied. "I'll need to complete the transfer of her spark to a new casing in medbay, but for now I'll have to brace it so it is not extinguished when she is moved. Hold her still while I install a brace."

Optimus and Alita nodded solemnly, positioning themselves around the wounded femme and holding her body still while Ratchet pulled out an adjustable metal brace. After carefully adjusting it to fit, he slowly inserted it in the gaping hole, wrapping it around the twisted spark casing, and attaching several extensions to the undamaged sections of her torso, which would keep the casing still. "There," he said with great finality. "Now there's only one more thing that needs to be done." /Ratchet to First Aid,/ he radioed.

/Uhh, First Aid here,/ came the hazy reply.

/Sorry to wake you, but we've got a trauma on our hands. I need you to prep the medbay for surgery and stand by to receive a patient. She's in very bad condition, and if we don't act soon, she may not survive./

/Will do,/ First Aid replied, sounding fully alert. Both he and Ratchet were used to snatching a few odd hours of recharge here and there, and even though one of them was supposed to be able to get some rest during the other's shift, occasionally a patient would be so badly damaged that he or she required both of their skills. Both medics had developed the fine art of recharging under the worst conditions, coming fully awake at a moment's notice. /I'm on my way./

/I'll meet you there. Ratchet out./ Once communications had been severed, Ratchet transformed into his ambulance mode and opened his rear door. "Load her in very gently," he instructed.

"You get her shoulders, I'll get her legs," Optimus ordered. Alita gingerly picked up the femme, trying hard not to jostle her. She held her steady as Optimus scooped up her legs, then the two of them carried her to the ambulance and cautiously placed her inside. Their fluid movements, in concert, spoke of their tight partnership and ability to anticipate each other's motion.

"Good, very good," the ambulance spoke. "Now strap her down so she doesn't move."

Optimus reached in and fastened the metal buckles over the femme, being careful to avoid the damaged areas. "She's ready to go."

"Excellent. Thank you for your help. I'll take her to medbay now. First Aid should have an operating berth ready for her. I'm afraid I can't allow you into the medbay during surgery. I'll notify you as soon as we're done."

"Please do, Ratchet," Optimus said gravely. "Take good care of Crystal for us."

"I will," the medic vowed. With that, he drove off slowly, taking his patient off to surgery.

As if an unspoken command had been uttered, Optimus and Alita each whirled and threw themselves into a tight embrace, each seeking solace from the other. 'How ironic that it took such a disaster to bring us back together,' Optimus thought miserably. He didn't want Crystal's life to be the price of their reunion. "Please, please, please let her be alright!" Alita murmured like a mantra. "I couldn't live with myself if she didn't survive!"

"We have to have faith, Alita," Optimus said softly, caressing her back soothingly. "The fact that she's still alive is a gift from Primus. We have to take it the rest of the way and show her how much we want her to stay. We'll go to visit her as soon as she's stable. Until then, all we can do is hope and pray."


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

"Unbelievable," First aid muttered as he worked on his patient. "Just look at this mess!"

Ratchet nodded sadly, methodically cutting away the mangled case that protected the spark within. "It's a miracle she's still alive at all."

"I just can't figure it, you know?" First Aid shook his head as he prepared the new case. "We've seen such terrible damage inflicted by the war, and now that the horror is finally over, this femme chooses to damage herself. There are so many that have died who deserved the gift of life, and Crystal tried to throw it away! I know that it's not my place to judge, but it seems so unfair. I've seen how fragile and precious life is. It just disgusts me that someone would want to throw away such a marvelous gift."

Ratchet carefully removed the mangled piece of metal and cupped the spark in his large yet gentle hands, the hands of a skilled surgeon. "Don't judge her too harshly," he said softly, smiling faintly as the sickly-gray spark brightened slightly, as if it recognized the person holding it and was pleased by its company. "Crystal's been through an awful lot. She's had a rough life, and I'm afraid peacetime has only made it worse for her. She doesn't need our scorn, she needs love and compassion. And I'm hoping that this second chance at life will help make up for the pain that she's experienced."

First Aid paused and looked at his colleague sharply. "You really care for this femme, don't you?"

Ratchet stiffened, never lifting his gaze from the spark he held as he gently placed it in the new case that First Aid positioned within the femme's newly repaired chest cavity. "I don't know what you're talking about. You should go get some more recharge; your judgment is obviously affected."

"No, I don't think so," First Aid chuckled, pleased to finally have a chance to tease his friend and boss. "I've never seen you act like this before. I know that you've had your share of girlfriends, but you've never spoken about any of them with such reverence and compassion. It is my professional analysis that you have a crush on this femme."

"And it is my professional analysis that you are a fool," Ratchet said with a grin as he sealed the front of the spark case with a plexiglass-type transparent material. "Like you really would know. Get out a lot, don't you?"

"Touché," First Aid laughed as he helped position the new torso plate, picking up the arc welder. "I know I'm not quite the party animal that you are, but I do recognize a crush when I see it, and you, my friend, are most definitely attracted to Miss Crystal here."

"But we're just good friends," the CMO replied, sounding rather confused in spite of himself, beginning to confront feelings that he never suspected existed. "If I like her so much, why did I turn her down so many times when she asked for a date?"

"Because of her history," First Aid said, understanding quite well how things developed. "You're too nice a guy to take advantage of her, and you knew that she wasn't ready for a real relationship yet. But perhaps now, once she wakes up, she'll be more ready for a monogamous relationship with someone that cares about her. And, quite frankly, I can't manage anyone better-suited for the task than you."

"Gee, thanks," Ratchet said sarcastically, stepping back to supervise First Aid's progress as the younger mech skillfully welded the femme's torso closed. Their patient was patched up, as good as new, and now only required a few cosmetic details.

"She looks so peaceful," First Aid observed, studying the femme's serene features. "It's hard to believe that she was tormented enough to take her own life."

Ratchet nodded wordlessly, captivated by her peaceful expression. He had never seen that look before on her, and he had to admit, it was quite endearing. "Come back to us, Crystal," he whispered, brushing her cheek with his hand. First Aid bit back a grin. Ratchet's affection for this femme was blindingly obvious. He was confident that Crystal would make a full recovery with Ratchet to help patch together her tattered soul.


	20. Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

Ratchet stepped out into the waiting area, his features inscrutable. He smiled a bit when he caught sight of Alita and Optimus leaning against each other, each in a light form of recharge. At the sound of footsteps, they both straightened up and pinned him under questioning glances.

The medic held up his arms. "Before you ask, Crystal came through the surgery just fine. She's going to be okay, at least physically. I gave her a mild sedative to give her body a chance to gather its strength and recover, so she won't awaken for a few more cycles. After that, I'm not sure what's going to happen." He shook his head. "I'll speak to Smokescreen and arrange a few therapy sessions, but I don't know if Crystal will agree to it or not. I know that you both want to see her, but I don't think that will be wise until she's fully recovered and willing to accept visitors. Even then, I don't know if she would like to see you two in particular."

Optimus and Alita hung their heads as one, looking ashamed and guilty. "Hey, cheer up! None of that is allowed in here!" Ratchet exclaimed, trying to lift their spirits. "Crystal is going to be okay, and that's the important thing. She's been given a second chance at life, and how she chooses to spend it is her decision. We can't force her to confront you until she is ready."

"But she's going to make a full recovery?" Optimus asked, breathless with hope.

"That she is, given some time," Ratchet confirmed.

"Then there's nothing to keep us here," Alita sighed tiredly. "We know she's okay, and she won't be up for quite some time. Let's go get some rest ourselves. I have a feeling we're going to need all our strength when we see her."

"I'll let you know when she's agreed to speak with you," Ratchet nodded.

"Then I'm going," Alita said tiredly. "I can't stay up another moment. I'll meet you at your quarters, Optimus." She smiled a bit at how they were already falling into their old routine. Optimus smiled and watched her go, then turned back to the chief medical officer.

Ratchet informed his leader, "I'm taking the first observational shift. I'm going to stay up with her and monitor her vital signs to make sure there were no complications."

Optimus looked at his best friend sharply, noticing that something was off about Ratchet's attitude. "You've been on duty all night. Are you sure that's wise?"

"I am the chief medical officer. I'm the most qualified."

"Don't give me that," Optimus chided. "Any young orderly would be capable of monitoring her life signs. What reason do you have to stay?"

Ratchet looked down and shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "Well, we're good friends and we go back a long way. I'm sure she'd feel more comfortable with me than with anyone else. Besides," he said nervously, "I like spending time with her. It makes me feel good to know that I'm doing something to help her."

Optimus couldn't help but grin under his mask. "I never thought I'd see the day when you would lose your emotion chip to a femme," he chuckled.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Ratchet asked in consternation. "Is it so hard to believe that I have a professional interest in Crystal?"

"Yes," Optimus said baldly, feeling glee rise in him, displacing the dark shadows of guilt. "This goes beyond professional concern. I think you like her! And I can't think of anyone that would be better for Crystal than you."

"Get lost!" Ratchet said gruffly, unable to conceal a note of pleasure. "You need some recharge. I'll let you know when she's awake."

"Thank you, Ratchet. For everything," Optimus said softly, squeezing his friend's hand in gratitude. "I know Crystal is going to be just fine in your hands."


	21. Chapter Twenty One

Chapter Twenty-One

Consciousness came to her slowly, like waves gently lapping at the shore. A faint smile tinged her weary face. Existing in this dreamlike state was rather pleasant. She wanted to stay and enjoy it, but something drove her onward and upward, to a small pinprick of light that seemed to get larger as she approached it. As she grew nearer, sensations began to prick at her, slightly at first, then more forcefully. It felt like her whole body had fallen numb from disuse and was finally coming awake. A part of her struggled to cry out, to fight this awakening. She had the dim sense that if she went into that bright light, if she allowed the numbness to dissipate, a terrible ache would overcome her. She wanted to drift in this eternal nothingness, wrapped in the cozy blackness, like a warm fuzzy blanket keeping her safe. Try as she might, though, she couldn't stop her forward motion as the speck of light became a dot, then an ever-expanding circle. She felt a gentle touch on her hand, and that sensation drew her out of her protective cocoon. That touch was comforting, and she was sure that whoever it was that was standing by her would never cause her harm. With that thought to bolster her spirits, her mind breached the gap between the unconscious and conscious worlds.

Crystal cried out softly and hastily dimmed her optics, nearly blinded by the soft yet powerful light that seemed to shine directly into her optics like a beacon. 'Where *am* I?' she wondered hazily. The dim recollection of her effort to take her life came back to her, but the impression remained distant, like a hazy dream. 'Am I dead? Could this be the Matrix?' A shape moved in her peripheral vision, and she struggled with her overburdened systems to make it out. "Primus?" she whispered, a sense of awe overtaking her.

A dry yet kind chuckle told her instantly that her reunion with her ancestors was still a ways off. "Well, I've been called a lot of things in my time, but that has to be a first!" Finally her stubborn optics gave her a relatively clear picture, though still fuzzy around the edges. Although the figure was an angel of mercy and dedicated his life to helping others, he couldn't quite fill the shoes of the Transformers' legendary deity. Ratchet, the Autobots' chief medical officer, smiled down upon her kindly. His bedside manner was a tad rough around the edges, but even he knew that this case required a subtle touch. "Sorry to disappoint you, but it's just little old me. How are you feeling?"

Crystal looked a bit curiously at the hand that still grasped hers lightly, and the doctor let go, looking a bit flustered. "Not so good," she groaned, error messages scrolling through her CPU.

"I wouldn't be surprised," Ratchet replied. "We weren't sure if you'd make it for a while there. First Aid and I were able to fix most of the structural damage, but a good deal of minor contusions remain. Only time and rest will cure that."

Crystal looked down, a sudden wave of shame flooding her. Although Ratchet had not alluded to the details, she gathered that he and First Aid had had their work cut out for them. They had worked so hard to save her, to give her back the gift of life that she had so desperately wanted to dispose of. She didn't deserve such kindness.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Ratchet said softly, taking her hand instinctively.

"I-I don't know what to say," she choked. "I'm sorry to have caused so much trouble. I'm just not worth it."

"Don't say that!" Crystal winced at the sudden harsh tone in his voice, the doctor's hand tightening around hers to the point of crushing. "You *are* worth it! I'm sorry that you don't see that. I just wish there was some way to prove it to you." He looked away, realizing that he was losing his grip on his emotions. He coughed a bit and continued. "Get some rest now. You've been through an awful lot, and you need time to recover. In a few days, when you feel up to it, we'll schedule an appointment with Smokescreen. He should be able to help you a bit with your depression. Until then, you need to get some recharge. Doctor's orders." He turned to go, shaking his head, wishing there were something more that he could do to help.

"Wait!" The sudden cry froze him in his tracks, its plaintive tone sending a chill through his exostructure. He turned, locking optics with the forlorn-looking femme on the medberth.

Crystal bit her lip, hating to sound so desperate, but a part of her could not bear to let him leave. "Please... don't go. I'm afraid to be alone."

Ratchet hesitated. He had his duties to attend to, but First Aid could easily cover for him. Naturally, his workload had fallen considerably after the war, and while he had devoted a lot of his spare time towards experiments and research, such projects could wait. Right now his patient needed him, and he was not about to say no. Truth be told, he rather enjoyed being by her side. Even while she lay in stasis, the equivalent of a coma, he still liked keeping her company, holding her hand, giving her a tactile lifeline to the real world. He had just assumed that it was professional pride, the spark of pleasure that had led him to study medicine, his genuine delight in nursing others back to health, much as his gruff exterior belied it. But now, the sudden burst of pleasurable pain in his abdomen gave him pause. He felt a moment of panic, knowing he was treading in unknown territory. He could not remember feeling this way about any of his patients before, not even the ones that he had saved from certain death by pulling the proverbial rabbit out of a hat. No, this was different, and while First Aid only felt a weary disgust and sorrow towards Crystal for wanting to throw away her life, Ratchet felt somehow drawn to her. Watching her in the eerie stillness of stasis had given him an odd pain that he knew no diagnostic could identify. He knew, deep inside, that if he went to her and took her hand, it would not be as a doctor, but as something more profound. And he knew that he could not refuse her.

Smiling slightly, he came to her bedside and gently took her hand in his own. "Don't worry," he said softly. "I'm here. You will never be alone again."

"Thank you," Crystal whispered, already drifting off into recharge mode, the stress of her earlier mental anguish and extensive surgeries catching up to her. "You've always been... a good friend... to me," she murmured, her words trailing off as her systems cycled down.

"It's my pleasure," Ratchet replied, knowing that she could no longer hear him but feeling a burning need to voice it. He studied her small red hand, encased in his large gray one. She seemed so fragile, and a sudden fierce need to protect her rose in him. He marveled at its strength, finally admitting to himself that perhaps there was something more that drew him to this femme. Maybe, just maybe, Optimus and First Aid were on to something after all.

Ratchet groaned to himself, all the while taking care not to disturb his slumbering patient. This was all wrong, he tried to tell himself. 'But why does it feel so right?' he asked himself, and for that he had no reply. Looking at things rationally, he could see that it would not work out. She was a recovering suicide victim with unimaginable phantoms loose in her head, and he was a brusque chief medical officer with caustic wit and an odd penchant for parties. Both of them had had their share of flings, and both had been burned. Of course, in comparison, Ratchet had escaped comparatively unscathed, but that didn't mean that it hadn't hurt at the time. This was precisely the wrong time to get involved, and yet... and yet... could he really say no to that wan face that looked at him so trustingly? Could he tell her, bluntly, "I can't treat you anymore because I'm falling in love with you."? And if he did, would she be disgusted, or laugh, or cry? No, it was just too dangerous to get involved. It was not just his feelings on the line; it was her very life. If things didn't work out, only Primus knew how she would take it.

As if sensing his turbulent thoughts, Crystal stirred slightly and cried out. A bad dream, no doubt. Ratchet murmured soothing words to her, caressing her cheek gently, his other hand tightening on hers that held on so trustingly. No, he could not bear to hurt her. But something in him would not be denied. And it whispered to him, 'Perhaps there is a chance. Perhaps there may yet be happiness for you both...'


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Care to talk about it?"

The question caught Crystal by surprise, and her head jerked up, staring at her personal savior. "I-I don't know," she finally whispered. After nearly a week in the intensive care unit, her status had finally been downgraded, and she was about to be released as an outpatient. All this time Ratchet had stuck by her side, always there to comfort her, and never prying, until now.

"That's okay," The Autobots' CMO replied hastily, "I didn't mean to rush you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you whenever you need me."

Crystal smiled, her first genuine one since her hospitalization. "I know that. I don't have a clue why you're being so nice to me, but I do appreciate it."

Ratchet returned the smile easily. "Do I need a reason to be nice to you? I think you're a great person, and I like you a lot!" A sudden embarrassed look crossed his face. He hadn't quite meant to say all that! "Erm, um..." he mumbled. 'Good going, numbnuts!' he berated himself. 'She's still recovering, and already you put this burden on her! Besides, she's been with Optimus and other top Autobots, what makes you think that she's going to be interested in you?'

Crystal smiled shyly down at her lap. Ratchet's inadvertent slip had pleased her a lot more than the ardent words of passion that had been whispered to her from countless lovers. She was touched by his kindness, and she found his nervousness to be endearing. "I like you too, silly," she smiled, looking at him fondly. She felt, to her surprise, a warmth spreading throughout her body, like a healing balm. "I can't tell you how good you make me feel."

Ratchet looked like he was going to reply, then, through some bizarre, irresistible instinct, he leaned over and gently pressed his lips against hers in a soft kiss. Crystal's optics widened in surprise, then she relaxed into the kiss, enjoying it far more than the most intimate caress. She caressed the back of Ratchet's helmet lovingly, never wanting the most romantic moment in her life to end.

Despite both of their fervent wishes, the kiss was eventually broken. The couple sat back, identical looks of stunned pleasure on both of their faces. "I, uh..." Ratchet began, scratching his helmet, looking helplessly embarrassed yet pleased. "Wow!"

"You can say that again," Crystal giggled.

"Wow!" Ratchet exclaimed, with great feeling.

"You know," Crystal said softly, "you have done me more good than astroyears of counseling could."

"Speaking of which, I've spoken with Smokescreen." Ratchet's happy expression clouded. "He thinks it best that you leave Cybertron for a short vacation, so that you can recover in peace, away from people and places that may still trigger negative feelings."

Crystal nodded thoughtfully. "I think that would be best for me. I don't blame Alita and Optimus for my problems, but I can't deny that they made things a lot worse for me. Perhaps I will be able to come to terms with it and forgive them in time if I were given the chance to sort it all out somewhere far away."

Ratchet asked, "Have you ever been to Risa?"

Crystal smiled. "No, but I've heard a lot about it. It's supposed to be the ideal vacation planet. Thank you for suggesting it, I think I'll give it a try." Her voice turned slightly teasing. "But I don't think I've fully recovered. I may just need a physician by my side."

If it had been possible, Ratchet would have turned a bright red. "Erm, I don't know..."

Crystal laughed merrily at his discomfiture, already feeling more like her old self. "I know that Risa is a pleasure planet, but that's not why I want you to come with me. Believe me, I know that getting intimate too soon is the last thing that I need. I just want you by my side. Now that I've finally found you, I don't want to let you out of my life! Besides, I think you need a vacation too, and I am going to see to it that you get one!"

"Yes, sir!" Ratchet said, saluting sloppily, a huge grin on his face. "I'll ask Optimus for the leave, but I'm sure that he will give me a leave of absence. He's been on my case about taking a vacation anyway. And I know he'd do anything to further your recovery. He knows that he made a serious mistake, and he wants to do anything that he can to make it better."

"Then this is all that I ask of him. With you by my side, I'm sure that everything will be wonderful from now on." And, with a weary feeling of happiness, like that of a drowning man that has finally spotted land, she realized that it was true. She had finally found someone that she could trust with her life, and more importantly, with her heart. And that was what made life worth living.

The End


End file.
